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>> Woman on tape:

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Unit two: saying hello.

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How would you say hello

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00:00:17,120 --> 00:00:20,054
to your friend Mr. Wong?

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>>

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>> Woman:

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And how would you say good-bye

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to your friend Mr. Wong?

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>> UM, UM...

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>> Good.

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>> DAMN IT.

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EVER SINCE I WAS YOUNG, I KNEW

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I WAS DESTINED FOR GREAT

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THINGS.

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NOVELTIES-- THEY ARE AN ART

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FORM THAT SOCIETY FAILS TO

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FORM THAT SOCIETY FAILS TO
RECOGNIZE.

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RECOGNIZE.

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I LOVE KNOWING THAT SOMEWHERE

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IN THE WORLD, LIKE-MINDED

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PEOPLE ARE BUSY MAKING

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POINTLESS ITEMS LIKE FART

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MACHINES AND FAKE POO.

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I MEAN, I WOULDN'T WANT

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TO EXIST IN A WORLD WITHOUT

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THAT KIND OF FRIVOLITY.

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THAT KIND OF FRIVOLITY.
>> Woman:

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>> Woman:

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YOU AND YOUR INVENTIONS!

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IF YOU WANT ANYTHING

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MADE THESE DAYS, IT'S A BUYER'S

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MARKET.

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ANYTHING YOU CAN THINK OF,

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ANYTHING AT ALL, SOMEBODY

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SOMEWHERE IS WILLING TO

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MAKE IT.

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YOU CAN TRY STAYING LOYAL TO

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00:01:33,265 --> 00:01:35,612
YOUR LOCAL ECONOMY... BUT IF

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00:01:35,612 --> 00:01:37,683
YOU FOLLOW THE MONEY, IT ALL

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LEADS TO CHINA.

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I AM AN INVENTOR, A NOVELTY

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INVENTOR.

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...MR. JAMES CHOI?

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HI. THIS IS JOHNSON.

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JOHNSON.

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O.K., GREAT, GREAT.

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IT'S A HUMOROUS DOMESTIC

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HYGIENE PRODUCT.

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YOU KNOW, UM, THERE COMES A TIME

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IN EVERY MAN'S LIFE WHEN HE

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GRAB THE BULL BY THE HORNS

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AND...

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WELL, I GUESS WHAT I'M TRYING

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TO S... WELL, THAT TIME IS

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RIGHT NOW FOR ME.

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I'M TELLING YOU, RIGHT NOW.

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MY CALLING CARD'S ACTUALLY

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RUNNING OUT RIGHT NOW, BUT DID

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YOU RECEIVE THAT, UM, MONEY

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TRANSFER THAT I SENT TO YOU

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EARLIER THIS AFTERNOON?

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GOOD, GOOD, AND THE HOTEL

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RESERVATION IS DEFINITELY

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IN MY NAME.

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O.K., AND YOU WILL BE ABLE TO

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PICK ME UP FROM THE AIRPORT,

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CORRECT?

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OH, NO, NO, I AM NOT

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FINISHED TALKING TO YOU YET.

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>> IT'S ALL ARRANGED, MOM.

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MY ASSOCIATE, JAMES CHOI, HE

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JUST NEEDS THE FUNDS AND A

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SAMPLE, THAT'S IT.

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IT'S GOING TO BE ALL RIGHT.

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>> ASSOCIATE?

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00:02:48,720 --> 00:02:50,618
JOHNSON, I MEAN, YOU JUST MET

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HIM ON THE INTERNET.

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YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW HIM AND

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00:02:53,414 --> 00:02:54,588
YOU'RE GOING OFF TO CHINA?

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00:02:54,588 --> 00:02:55,692
>> WILL YOU PLEASE GIVE ME

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A RIDE TO THE AIRPORT?

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>> NO, NO, NO, I WILL

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ABSOLUTELY NOT!

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>> WILL YOU PLEASE GIVE ME

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A RIDE TO THE AIRPORT?

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I'M SO NOT

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GETTING INVOLVED IN THIS.

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00:03:02,389 --> 00:03:03,769
THANKS, BETH.

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>> WELL... I'M LEAVING.

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>> OH, NO!

91
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>> NOW WILL YOU GIVE ME

92
00:03:14,194 --> 00:03:17,300
A RIDE TO THE AIRPORT?

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>> NO, JOHNSON! NO!

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>> BYE, MOM.

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>> OH, JOHNSON!

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YOU GOT TO LET HIM GO.

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JUST GOT TO LET HIM GO

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THIS TIME.

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>>

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OH, JOHNSON.

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>> YOU LITTLE SHIT!

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HOPE THE TALIBAN DOESN'T

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00:03:39,805 --> 00:03:40,565
GET YOU!

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00:03:40,565 --> 00:03:43,913
>> OH, MY GOD!

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00:03:43,913 --> 00:03:45,259
>> Man on tape: Welcome to the

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00:03:45,259 --> 00:03:47,606
Hess Educational Organization

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00:03:47,606 --> 00:03:49,228
Mandarin Course.

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The course is divided into 33

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units, each describing different

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aspects of daily life.

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Unit one: greetings.

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Hello, Miss Lin.

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How are you?

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This is my colleague.

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Good luck!

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Unit two: introduction.

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Where are you from?

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I'M from America.

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Good luck.

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00:05:17,869 --> 00:05:19,146
>> Woman on speaker: In

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preparation for landing, we ask

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00:05:20,561 --> 00:05:21,907
that you put your seat tables...

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00:05:21,907 --> 00:05:23,978
SIR.

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00:05:23,978 --> 00:05:26,981
SIR!

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SIR, WE'RE LANDING.

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[WOMAN SPEAKING MANDARIN

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OVER SPEAKER...]

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00:05:59,600 --> 00:06:01,637
OVER SPEAKER...]
>> YOU'RE NOT JAMES CHOI?

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00:06:01,637 --> 00:06:06,366
>> YOU'RE NOT JAMES CHOI?

130
00:06:06,366 --> 00:06:11,440
JAMES CHOI? OR...

131
00:06:11,440 --> 00:06:13,303
JAMES CHOI? OR...
YOU SPEAK ENGLISH?

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00:06:13,303 --> 00:06:21,070
YOU SPEAK ENGLISH?

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00:06:22,382 --> 00:06:23,555
>> Man on answering machine:

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00:06:23,555 --> 00:06:25,523
NI HAO...JAMES CHOI.

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00:06:32,253 --> 00:06:34,463
NI HAO...JAMES CHOI.

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00:06:37,327 --> 00:06:39,813
>> EXCUSE ME. UH, TAXI?

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00:06:39,813 --> 00:06:44,611
TAXI?

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00:06:47,268 --> 00:06:49,374
>> NI HAO...JAMES CHOI.

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00:07:01,904 --> 00:07:03,975
NI HAO...JAMES CHOI.

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00:07:08,566 --> 00:07:10,568
>> MR. JAMES CHOI, THIS IS

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00:07:10,568 --> 00:07:12,432
JOHNSON SPEAKING.

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I'M HERE IN SHANGHAI, CHINA.

143
00:07:15,607 --> 00:07:16,815
I GUESS I MISSED YOU

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00:07:16,815 --> 00:07:20,957
AT THE AIRPORT.

145
00:07:32,279 --> 00:07:49,330
SO... I MADE IT TO THE HOTEL.

146
00:07:49,330 --> 00:07:52,541
IT'S FINE.

147
00:07:52,541 --> 00:07:53,956
I LOOK FORWARD TO OUR MEETING

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00:07:53,956 --> 00:07:55,716
TOMORROW, WHICH IS AT 11 A.M.

149
00:07:55,716 --> 00:07:59,479
SHARP AT THE Y.Y. PUB.

150
00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:00,687
SO PLEASE CALL ME BACK

151
00:08:00,687 --> 00:08:01,757
IMMEDIATELY AND CONFIRM

152
00:08:01,757 --> 00:08:03,552
THAT YOU GOT THIS.

153
00:08:03,552 --> 00:08:05,933
I LOOK FORWARD TO OUR MEETING.

154
00:08:05,933 --> 00:08:07,487
ALL RIGHT, YOU HAVE A GOOD NIGHT

155
00:08:07,487 --> 00:08:08,591
NOW, O.K.?

156
00:08:08,591 --> 00:08:10,006
CALL ME.

157
00:08:10,006 --> 00:08:11,974
CALL ME.
BYE-BYE NOW.

158
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BYE-BYE NOW.

159
00:08:31,131 --> 00:08:32,408
STOP FOR A MOMENT.

160
00:08:35,445 --> 00:08:39,173
TAKE A DEEP BREATH.

161
00:08:39,173 --> 00:08:40,865
TAKE A GOOD LOOK AT THE WORLD

162
00:08:40,865 --> 00:08:42,486
TAKE A GOOD LOOK AT THE WORLD
AROUND YOU.

163
00:08:42,486 --> 00:08:48,286
AROUND YOU.

164
00:08:48,286 --> 00:08:50,184
THERE ARE DOZENS OF INVENTIONS

165
00:08:50,184 --> 00:08:51,461
WITHIN TOUCHING DISTANCE THAT

166
00:08:51,461 --> 00:08:52,911
YOU'VE PROBABLY NEVER EVEN

167
00:08:52,911 --> 00:08:57,433
CONSIDERED.

168
00:09:37,162 --> 00:09:38,578
DID YOU KNOW THE SLINKY WAS

169
00:09:38,578 --> 00:09:40,303
ACCIDENTALLY INVENTED BY A MAN

170
00:09:40,303 --> 00:09:42,547
BY THE NAME OF RICHARD JAMES?

171
00:09:42,547 --> 00:09:43,928
RICHARD WAS AN ENGINEER WORKING

172
00:09:43,928 --> 00:09:45,515
ON A NAVY BATTLESHIP, AND HE

173
00:09:45,515 --> 00:09:47,172
WAS EXPERIMENTING WITH TENSION

174
00:09:47,172 --> 00:09:49,105
SPRINGS TO MONITOR POWER WHEN

175
00:09:49,105 --> 00:09:50,969
ONE OF 'EM FELL TO THE GROUND

176
00:09:50,969 --> 00:09:52,902
AND JUST KEPT GOING AND GOING

177
00:09:52,902 --> 00:09:54,628
AND GOING AND GOING.

178
00:09:54,628 --> 00:09:56,078
HE DECIDED TO CALL HIS WIFE

179
00:09:56,078 --> 00:09:58,425
BETTY AND TELL HER ABOUT IT.

180
00:09:58,425 --> 00:10:00,565
AND BETTY SAID TO HERSELF,

181
00:10:00,565 --> 00:10:04,327
"HMM, LET'S CALL IT SLINKY."

182
00:10:04,327 --> 00:10:06,053
AT THAT MOMENT, AN IDEA

183
00:10:06,053 --> 00:10:08,469
FOR A TOY WAS BORN.

184
00:10:08,469 --> 00:10:09,609
RICHARD AND BETTY DECIDED TO

185
00:10:09,609 --> 00:10:10,955
TAKE A CHANCE WITH THEIR IDEA,

186
00:10:10,955 --> 00:10:12,750
AND THEY INVESTED A MEASLY $500

187
00:10:12,750 --> 00:10:16,788
TO MANUFACTURE IT.

188
00:10:16,788 --> 00:10:18,514
GUESS WHAT.

189
00:10:20,102 --> 00:10:22,449
OVER A QUARTER BILLION HAVE

190
00:10:22,449 --> 00:10:24,831
BEEN SOLD, AND TO THIS DAY,

191
00:10:24,831 --> 00:10:26,073
THEY'RE STILL MADE IN THE

192
00:10:26,073 --> 00:10:28,455
U.S.A.

193
00:10:28,455 --> 00:10:32,632
SO WHAT AM I DOING IN CHINA?

194
00:10:43,815 --> 00:10:44,885
HOW DO?

195
00:10:44,885 --> 00:10:45,921
>> HI, MRS. CLEMMONS.

196
00:10:45,921 --> 00:10:46,887
>> HOW ARE YOU?

197
00:10:46,887 --> 00:10:47,854
>> I'M GOOD, GOOD.

198
00:10:47,854 --> 00:10:49,545
UM, I WOULD LIKE TO INVITE YOU

199
00:10:49,545 --> 00:10:50,684
TO MY INVESTORS MEETING THIS

200
00:10:50,684 --> 00:10:51,581
SATURDAY.

201
00:10:51,581 --> 00:10:53,238
>> OH, INVESTOR.

202
00:10:53,238 --> 00:10:54,723
DOES THAT MEAN MONEY?

203
00:10:54,723 --> 00:10:55,724
>> UH, YES, MA'AM.

204
00:10:55,724 --> 00:10:57,657
>> YOUR MONEY OR MINE?

205
00:10:57,657 --> 00:10:58,899
HEY, JIM.

206
00:10:58,899 --> 00:11:00,245
I REALLY WANT YOU TO COME

207
00:11:00,245 --> 00:11:01,074
TO MY MEETING.

208
00:11:01,074 --> 00:11:02,109
>> COME TO YOUR MEETING?

209
00:11:02,109 --> 00:11:03,041
>> HEY, KATRINA.

210
00:11:03,041 --> 00:11:05,423
BIG-TIME INVESTMENT OPPORTUNITY.

211
00:11:05,423 --> 00:11:06,873
HEY, BILLY.

212
00:11:06,873 --> 00:11:08,012
A GIANT STEP FORWARD FOR

213
00:11:08,012 --> 00:11:11,360
ALL HOMO SAPIENS.

214
00:11:18,850 --> 00:11:20,438
WOULD YOU LIKE TO COME AND LEARN

215
00:11:20,438 --> 00:11:21,646
ABOUT MY HUMOROUS DOMESTIC

216
00:11:21,646 --> 00:11:24,994
HYGIENE PRODUCT, JUNIOR?

217
00:11:24,994 --> 00:11:25,961
>> IS YOUR SISTER GONNA

218
00:11:25,961 --> 00:11:26,720
BE THERE?

219
00:11:26,720 --> 00:11:27,790
>> HUH?

220
00:11:27,790 --> 00:11:29,516
>> HYGIENE?

221
00:11:29,516 --> 00:11:31,587
WHAT IS THAT, SOAP AND WATER?

222
00:11:31,587 --> 00:11:33,415
>> IT'S BASICALLY A GIANT STEP

223
00:11:33,415 --> 00:11:35,211
FORWARD FOR ALL HOMO SAPIENS.

224
00:11:35,211 --> 00:11:36,419
>> OH, UH-HUH.

225
00:11:36,419 --> 00:11:38,421
WELL, THAT'S NICE.

226
00:11:38,421 --> 00:11:39,595
UH-HUH, THAT'LL WORK OUT

227
00:11:39,595 --> 00:11:40,907
BEAUTIFULLY.

228
00:11:40,907 --> 00:11:42,391
[CAR HORN BEEPS, TRAFFIC

229
00:11:44,255 --> 00:11:56,716
PASSING...]

230
00:12:42,382 --> 00:12:50,873
NI HAO. NI HAO.

231
00:12:50,873 --> 00:12:52,910
UM, I'M LOOKING FOR

232
00:12:52,910 --> 00:12:58,605
THIS ADDRESS.

233
00:13:05,785 --> 00:13:08,339
THAT WAY? O.K. XIE XIE.

234
00:13:08,339 --> 00:13:10,720
XIE XIE NI. XIE XIE NI.

235
00:13:10,720 --> 00:13:18,004
XIE XIE NI.

236
00:13:25,597 --> 00:13:26,426
HI.

237
00:13:26,426 --> 00:13:27,220
>> NI HAO.

238
00:13:27,220 --> 00:13:28,083
>> NI HAO. NI HAO.

239
00:13:28,083 --> 00:13:29,187
>> NI HAO.

240
00:13:29,187 --> 00:13:30,533
>> PLEASE COME IN.

241
00:13:30,533 --> 00:13:32,432
>> PLEASE COME IN.
SUIT? O.K.

242
00:13:32,432 --> 00:13:36,022
SUIT? O.K.

243
00:13:40,336 --> 00:13:41,268
I'M LOOKING

244
00:13:41,268 --> 00:13:42,338
FOR SOMETHING VERY SPECIAL

245
00:13:42,338 --> 00:13:44,202
FOR MY MEETING.

246
00:13:44,202 --> 00:13:46,204
FOR MY MEETING.
I WANT TO LOOK VERY DAPPER.

247
00:13:46,204 --> 00:13:56,352
I WANT TO LOOK VERY DAPPER.

248
00:14:21,584 --> 00:14:23,276
HEY, JAMES CHOI.

249
00:14:23,276 --> 00:14:24,933
THIS IS JOHNSON SPEAKING AGAIN.

250
00:14:24,933 --> 00:14:27,867
UM, I'M TRYING TO FIND THE Y.Y.

251
00:14:27,867 --> 00:14:31,215
BAR ON NAN JING ROAD.

252
00:14:31,215 --> 00:14:32,078
EXCUSE ME.

253
00:14:32,078 --> 00:14:34,804
DO YOU KNOW WHERE THIS IS?

254
00:14:34,804 --> 00:14:36,289
I THINK I'M LOST RIGHT NOW.

255
00:14:36,289 --> 00:14:39,775
I'M IN SOME SORT OF...

256
00:14:39,775 --> 00:14:41,121
OLD AREA.

257
00:14:41,121 --> 00:14:42,674
Y.Y. BAR?

258
00:14:42,674 --> 00:14:43,883
Y.Y. BAR.

259
00:14:43,883 --> 00:14:45,401
>> Y.Y....

260
00:14:45,401 --> 00:14:46,816
NO, I THINK IT'S THAT WAY.

261
00:14:46,816 --> 00:14:48,266
>> NO, NO, NO, NO.

262
00:14:53,616 --> 00:15:09,770
>> XIE XIE!

263
00:15:29,273 --> 00:15:31,654
EXCUSE ME.

264
00:15:31,654 --> 00:15:33,484
>>

265
00:15:33,484 --> 00:15:34,864
>> ARE YOU JAMES CHOI?

266
00:15:34,864 --> 00:15:36,211
>>

267
00:15:36,211 --> 00:15:40,284
>> NO. IS YOUR NAME JAMES CHOI?

268
00:15:40,284 --> 00:15:42,389
>>

269
00:15:42,389 --> 00:15:44,357
>> YOU'RE NOT JAMES CHOI?

270
00:15:44,357 --> 00:15:46,186
>> YOU'RE NOT JAMES CHOI?
>>

271
00:15:46,186 --> 00:16:02,996
>>

272
00:16:07,414 --> 00:16:08,519
THANKS FOR

273
00:16:08,519 --> 00:16:10,417
COMING OUT.

274
00:16:10,417 --> 00:16:12,281
COMING OUT.
THANKS FOR COMING OUT.

275
00:16:12,281 --> 00:16:23,361
THANKS FOR COMING OUT.

276
00:16:23,361 --> 00:16:26,399
DONATIONS.

277
00:16:26,399 --> 00:16:28,090
I'M KIDDING.

278
00:16:28,090 --> 00:16:29,436
WHAT I REALLY WANT YOU GUYS

279
00:16:29,436 --> 00:16:33,993
TO DO IS INVEST.

280
00:16:38,998 --> 00:16:41,069
AND YOU KNOW WHAT?

281
00:16:41,069 --> 00:16:42,794
RESIDENTS OF WOODVILLE, IF YOU

282
00:16:42,794 --> 00:16:46,419
INVEST IN MY IDEA, IF YOU INVEST

283
00:16:46,419 --> 00:16:48,766
IN JOHNSON NOVELTIES, NOT ONLY

284
00:16:48,766 --> 00:16:50,492
WILL YOU BE INVESTING IN YOUR

285
00:16:50,492 --> 00:16:55,635
FUTURE...

286
00:16:55,635 --> 00:16:59,018
JOIN THE RANKS...

287
00:16:59,018 --> 00:17:03,608
OF GREAT... INVENTORS.

288
00:17:03,608 --> 00:17:05,300
OF GREAT... INVENTORS.
NOVELTY INVENTORS.

289
00:17:05,300 --> 00:17:12,721
NOVELTY INVENTORS.

290
00:17:12,721 --> 00:17:14,757
O.K., GUYS, MY SPEECH IS GONNA

291
00:17:14,757 --> 00:17:16,483
GO JU... WELL, MY SPEECH IS

292
00:17:16,483 --> 00:17:20,246
GONNA GO JUST LIKE THIS.

293
00:17:20,246 --> 00:17:21,867
THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR GIVING

294
00:17:21,867 --> 00:17:24,077
UP YOUR SATURDAY AFTERNOON TO

295
00:17:24,077 --> 00:17:25,768
COME AND HEAR ABOUT MY EXCITING

296
00:17:25,768 --> 00:17:30,670
NEW INVESTMENT OPPORTUNITY.

297
00:17:30,670 --> 00:17:33,397
INVENTION.

298
00:17:33,397 --> 00:17:34,674
WELL, YOU'RE SURROUNDED BY IT

299
00:17:34,674 --> 00:17:36,469
EVERY DAY.

300
00:17:36,469 --> 00:17:37,677
AND I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT

301
00:17:37,677 --> 00:17:40,611
THE BIG IDEAS LIKE CARS

302
00:17:40,611 --> 00:17:42,820
OR SPACESHIPS.

303
00:17:42,820 --> 00:17:43,855
I'M JUST TALKING ABOUT

304
00:17:43,855 --> 00:17:46,824
EVERYDAY STUFF, STUFF SOME

305
00:17:46,824 --> 00:17:49,068
GUY OR GAL CREATED THAT STRUCK

306
00:17:49,068 --> 00:17:51,346
A CHORD WITH PEOPLE.

307
00:17:51,346 --> 00:17:53,072
LIKE POST-IT NOTES AND WHOOPEE

308
00:17:53,072 --> 00:17:55,902
CUSHIONS AND... THOSE TINY

309
00:17:55,902 --> 00:17:57,283
UMBRELLAS THAT GO IN FRUIT

310
00:17:57,283 --> 00:18:00,389
COCKTAIL DRINKS, SEA-MONKEYS,

311
00:18:00,389 --> 00:18:02,081
PORTA-POTTIES.

312
00:18:02,081 --> 00:18:03,151
CAN I TAKE THIS

313
00:18:03,151 --> 00:18:04,083
MASK OFF?

314
00:18:04,083 --> 00:18:08,846
IT SMELLS.

315
00:18:08,846 --> 00:18:11,055
>> NO, YOU MAY NOT.

316
00:18:11,055 --> 00:18:13,333
I'VE RENTED YOU FOR THE HOUR,

317
00:18:13,333 --> 00:18:15,611
AND IT'S ONLY BEEN ABOUT...

318
00:18:15,611 --> 00:18:21,376
ONE MINUTE AND 45 SECONDS.

319
00:18:57,860 --> 00:19:00,104
SIMON, YEAH.

320
00:19:00,104 --> 00:19:01,278
LISTEN, CAN YOU GET ONE OF

321
00:19:01,278 --> 00:19:02,486
THE TEAM TO HEAD OVER TO

322
00:19:02,486 --> 00:19:03,107
HENRY ZANG'S?

323
00:19:03,107 --> 00:19:04,488
YEAH, I DON'T WANT TO GO INTO

324
00:19:04,488 --> 00:19:05,316
MANUFACTURE BEFORE WE GET

325
00:19:05,316 --> 00:19:06,179
COMPLETE SIGN-OFF FROM

326
00:19:06,179 --> 00:19:07,491
THE CLIENT, ALL RIGHT?

327
00:19:07,491 --> 00:19:09,562
NO, THAT'S EXCELLENT.

328
00:19:09,562 --> 00:19:10,770
AND, UH, I THINK THEY GOT

329
00:19:10,770 --> 00:19:11,667
THE FIRST WIRE TRANSFER,

330
00:19:11,667 --> 00:19:14,222
DIDN'T THEY?

331
00:19:14,222 --> 00:19:15,464
ALL RIGHT, I'M COMING BACK FROM

332
00:19:15,464 --> 00:19:16,879
THE OFFICE NOW, I'LL SEE YOU IN

333
00:19:16,879 --> 00:19:18,847
15 MINUTES, BYE.

334
00:19:18,847 --> 00:19:20,780
>> UM, EXCUSE ME, SIR?

335
00:19:20,780 --> 00:19:22,402
LOOK, I'M HAVING TROUBLE DIALING

336
00:19:22,402 --> 00:19:23,783
THIS NUMBER HERE.

337
00:19:23,783 --> 00:19:25,681
EVERY TIME I DIAL IT, IT'S BUSY.

338
00:19:25,681 --> 00:19:27,096
DO YOU MIND USING ONE OF YOUR

339
00:19:27,096 --> 00:19:29,133
CELL PHONES, PLEASE?

340
00:19:29,133 --> 00:19:31,342
OW-- SORRY...

341
00:19:31,342 --> 00:19:32,792
DO YOU MIND TRY USING ONE OF

342
00:19:32,792 --> 00:19:33,965
YOUR PHONES?

343
00:19:33,965 --> 00:19:36,036
>> O.K., LET'S HAVE A LOOK THEN.

344
00:19:36,036 --> 00:19:38,280
WHAT YOU GOT?

345
00:19:38,280 --> 00:19:42,664
2-1-2-3.

346
00:19:46,185 --> 00:19:47,082
IT'S RINGING.

347
00:19:47,082 --> 00:19:48,187
IT'S AN ANSWERING MACHINE.

348
00:19:48,187 --> 00:19:51,776
HERE YOU GO.

349
00:19:51,776 --> 00:19:54,434
>> JAMES CHOI, JAMES CHOI.

350
00:19:54,434 --> 00:19:55,918
LOOK, THIS ISN'T RIGHT.

351
00:19:55,918 --> 00:19:57,506
THIS IS NOT RIGHT.

352
00:19:57,506 --> 00:19:58,887
THIS IS SERIOUSLY EFFED UP.

353
00:19:58,887 --> 00:20:00,095
YOU SURE AS HECK WEREN'T LATE

354
00:20:00,095 --> 00:20:01,200
CASHING THAT $800 CHECK,

355
00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:02,856
AND BY THE WAY, HALF OF THAT WAS

356
00:20:02,856 --> 00:20:05,514
SUPPOSED TO BE FOR SECURING MY

357
00:20:05,514 --> 00:20:06,584
LODGING.

358
00:20:06,584 --> 00:20:08,379
GUESS WHAT, I GOT TO THE HOTEL,

359
00:20:08,379 --> 00:20:10,001
NO PREPAID RESERVATION OR

360
00:20:10,001 --> 00:20:11,175
NOTHING.

361
00:20:11,175 --> 00:20:12,452
IT'S BEEN ONE CALAMITY AFTER

362
00:20:12,452 --> 00:20:13,177
ANOTHER WITH YOU.

363
00:20:13,177 --> 00:20:14,834
NOW YOU SERIOUSLY CALL ME BACK

364
00:20:14,834 --> 00:20:16,491
OR I'M FORCED TO FLAG YOUR AD

365
00:20:16,491 --> 00:20:18,355
ON CRAIGSLIST.

366
00:20:18,355 --> 00:20:21,081
I'M SERIOUS.

367
00:20:21,081 --> 00:20:24,775
OH, THANKS.

368
00:20:24,775 --> 00:20:26,846
>> YOU WANT ADVICE?

369
00:20:26,846 --> 00:20:28,399
I'D SAY FORGET IT.

370
00:20:28,399 --> 00:20:29,435
I MEAN, HE GOT WHAT?

371
00:20:29,435 --> 00:20:31,230
800 FROM YOU?

372
00:20:31,230 --> 00:20:33,335
I'VE HEARD OF A LOT WORSE.

373
00:20:33,335 --> 00:20:34,612
>> THAT'S UNACCEPTABLE.

374
00:20:34,612 --> 00:20:37,201
I'M HERE ON BUSINESS.

375
00:20:37,201 --> 00:20:38,237
O.K., THEN.

376
00:20:38,237 --> 00:20:40,031
>> MAYBE YOU CAN HELP ME, SIR.

377
00:20:40,031 --> 00:20:41,447
LOOK, I CAN TELL YOU'RE A VERY

378
00:20:41,447 --> 00:20:42,689
CAPABLE MAN.

379
00:20:42,689 --> 00:20:44,173
UM, YOU MUST KNOW HOW TO DEAL

380
00:20:44,173 --> 00:20:45,554
WITH TEXTILE MANUFACTURERS.

381
00:20:45,554 --> 00:20:46,762
>> LISTEN, EVEN IF I WANTED TO

382
00:20:46,762 --> 00:20:47,970
HELP YOU, I HAVE A VERY

383
00:20:47,970 --> 00:20:48,799
CHALLENGING WORK SCHEDULE AT

384
00:20:48,799 --> 00:20:49,351
PRESENT.

385
00:20:49,351 --> 00:20:50,559
>> I WON'T WASTE ANY OF YOUR

386
00:20:50,559 --> 00:20:51,767
TIME; WILL YOU PLEASE SIT DOWN

387
00:20:51,767 --> 00:20:52,596
FOR FIVE SECONDS, PLEASE?

388
00:20:52,596 --> 00:20:54,563
PLEASE?

389
00:20:54,563 --> 00:20:55,771
>> ALL RIGHT, BUT I AM IN

390
00:20:55,771 --> 00:20:56,358
A HURRY.

391
00:20:56,358 --> 00:21:00,638
>> O.K.

392
00:21:00,638 --> 00:21:02,778
JUST HEAR ME OUT, O.K.?

393
00:21:02,778 --> 00:21:04,193
I WAS SUPPOSED TO GIVE THIS GUY

394
00:21:04,193 --> 00:21:06,265
MR. JAMES CHOI A THOUSAND,

395
00:21:06,265 --> 00:21:07,921
TODAY.

396
00:21:07,921 --> 00:21:08,784
I'LL GIVE YOU...

397
00:21:11,131 --> 00:21:15,791
AN ADDITIONAL...

398
00:21:15,791 --> 00:21:18,760
500 IF YOU HELP ME.

399
00:21:18,760 --> 00:21:21,418
PLEASE.

400
00:21:21,418 --> 00:21:23,178
I NEED YOUR HELP.

401
00:21:23,178 --> 00:21:26,250
I'M ONLY HERE FOR SIX DAYS.

402
00:21:26,250 --> 00:21:30,254
I'M ONLY HERE FOR SIX DAYS.
>> WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO?

403
00:21:30,254 --> 00:21:36,778
>> WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO?

404
00:21:36,778 --> 00:21:38,849
>> I'M A NOVELTY INVENTOR.

405
00:21:40,747 --> 00:21:42,128
>> A NOVELTY INVENTOR.

406
00:21:42,128 --> 00:21:43,612
>> YES, SIR, AND NOVELTIES ARE

407
00:21:43,612 --> 00:21:45,545
THE BENCHMARK OF A FREE SOCIETY.

408
00:21:45,545 --> 00:21:46,753
>> THE BENCHMARK?

409
00:21:46,753 --> 00:21:48,445
>> YES, AND I HAVE A GREAT IDEA.

410
00:21:48,445 --> 00:21:50,550
IT IS BOTH NOVEL AND NEEDFUL.

411
00:21:50,550 --> 00:21:53,933
>> WHAT IS IT?

412
00:21:53,933 --> 00:21:56,798
>> WELL, I CAN'T EXACTLY TELL

413
00:21:56,798 --> 00:21:58,351
YOU... WHAT I CAN TELL YOU IS

414
00:21:58,351 --> 00:22:00,940
THIS-- IT'S PRIMARILY A TEXTILE

415
00:22:00,940 --> 00:22:02,528
PRODUCT AIMED AT THE ENTIRE

416
00:22:02,528 --> 00:22:04,150
ENGLISH-SPEAKING MARKETPLACE,

417
00:22:04,150 --> 00:22:06,635
BUT ITS FUTURE UNIVERSAL APPEAL

418
00:22:06,635 --> 00:22:09,397
IS VIRTUALLY GUARANTEED.

419
00:22:09,397 --> 00:22:10,708
>> WELL, I'M AS IMPRESSED AS

420
00:22:10,708 --> 00:22:12,192
A MAN LEFT TOTALLY IN THE DARK

421
00:22:12,192 --> 00:22:13,021
CAN BE.

422
00:22:13,021 --> 00:22:15,955
>> REALLY?

423
00:22:15,955 --> 00:22:17,543
>> COME ON, THEN.

424
00:22:17,543 --> 00:22:18,544
I'VE GOT A NEW CLIENT,

425
00:22:18,544 --> 00:22:20,442
A NOVELTY INVENTOR.

426
00:22:20,442 --> 00:22:21,650
HAVE YOU GOT A BUSINESS CARD?

427
00:22:21,650 --> 00:22:22,410
>> I SURE DO.

428
00:22:22,410 --> 00:22:23,134
>> THAT'S GOOD.

429
00:22:23,134 --> 00:22:24,343
THE CHINESE DO LOVE TO EXCHANGE

430
00:22:24,343 --> 00:22:25,240
BUSINESS CARDS.

431
00:22:25,240 --> 00:22:26,621
>> YOU KNOW I READ THAT IN MY

432
00:22:26,621 --> 00:22:28,864
GUIDEBOOK?

433
00:22:28,864 --> 00:22:29,900
>> NOT LIKE THAT.

434
00:22:29,900 --> 00:22:30,901
WITH BOTH THUMBS.

435
00:22:30,901 --> 00:22:32,109
THAT'S THE POLITE WAY OF DOING

436
00:22:32,109 --> 00:22:32,730
IT IN CHINA.

437
00:22:32,730 --> 00:22:33,352
>> I'M JOHNSON.

438
00:22:33,352 --> 00:22:34,870
>> JOHNSON, O.K.

439
00:22:34,870 --> 00:22:36,665
WHERE ARE YOU STAYING, JOHNSON?

440
00:22:36,665 --> 00:22:37,873
>> MOTEL 1-2-3.

441
00:22:37,873 --> 00:22:40,842
>> OOH, THAT'S A RUBBISH HOTEL.

442
00:22:40,842 --> 00:22:42,568
I TELL YOU WHAT...

443
00:22:44,984 --> 00:22:48,677
>>

444
00:22:48,677 --> 00:22:50,161
I'VE GOT A CLIENT APARTMENT.

445
00:22:50,161 --> 00:22:53,786
IT'S AVAILABLE TILL FRIDAY.

446
00:22:53,786 --> 00:22:58,653
NOW, TAKE THE ADDRESS...

447
00:22:58,653 --> 00:22:59,861
SHOW THAT TO THE CAB DRIVERS,

448
00:22:59,861 --> 00:23:01,069
AND MY NUMBER'S ON THE BOTTOM

449
00:23:01,069 --> 00:23:02,588
IF YOU GET LOST.

450
00:23:02,588 --> 00:23:04,106
DO YOU HAVE ANY, UH, PROPER

451
00:23:04,106 --> 00:23:05,798
BUSINESS ATTIRE?

452
00:23:05,798 --> 00:23:06,799
>> ABSOLUTELY.

453
00:23:06,799 --> 00:23:09,077
>> GOOD.

454
00:23:09,077 --> 00:23:10,699
I'LL PICK YOU UP THERE AT 7:30

455
00:23:10,699 --> 00:23:11,976
IN THE MORNING, WE CAN DISCUSS

456
00:23:11,976 --> 00:23:12,701
YOUR MANUFACTURING REQUIREMENTS

457
00:23:12,701 --> 00:23:14,013
THEN.

458
00:23:14,013 --> 00:23:15,014
>> O.K.

459
00:23:15,014 --> 00:23:16,395
>> O.K., THEN.

460
00:23:16,395 --> 00:23:17,568
I'M MAGNUS.

461
00:23:17,568 --> 00:23:21,434
I'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW.

462
00:23:21,434 --> 00:23:23,609
I'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW.
>>

463
00:23:23,609 --> 00:24:11,415
>>

464
00:24:31,780 --> 00:24:34,473
NOW THIS REALLY BLOWS MY MIND.

465
00:24:34,473 --> 00:24:36,198
I'M NOT JOKING YOU.

466
00:24:36,198 --> 00:24:38,131
AT A FOURTH OF JULY PICNIC IN

467
00:24:38,131 --> 00:24:41,928
1956, YOUNG VETERAN MILTON

468
00:24:41,928 --> 00:24:43,930
LEVENE-- OR LEVINE-- HE BECAME

469
00:24:43,930 --> 00:24:46,795
MESMERIZED BY A SCURRYING PILE

470
00:24:46,795 --> 00:24:48,314
OF ANTS.

471
00:24:48,314 --> 00:24:50,489
MILTON HAD THE HUNCH, AND SOON

472
00:24:50,489 --> 00:24:52,698
AFTER, UNCLE MILTON'S ANT FARM

473
00:24:52,698 --> 00:24:54,182
WAS BORN.

474
00:24:54,182 --> 00:24:56,564
TO DATE, THEY HAVE SOLD OVER

475
00:24:56,564 --> 00:24:59,187
25 MILLION ANT FARMS AND

476
00:24:59,187 --> 00:25:03,674
SHIPPEDONE BILLION A NTS.

477
00:25:03,674 --> 00:25:04,675
AND MILTON IS QUOTED AS

478
00:25:04,675 --> 00:25:07,160
SAYING-- I LOVE THIS QUOTE--

479
00:25:07,160 --> 00:25:09,024
"PERSISTENCE IS THE SECRET TO

480
00:25:09,024 --> 00:25:11,820
SUCCESS, AND PROCRASTINATION IS

481
00:25:11,820 --> 00:25:13,546
THE SECRET TO FAILURE."

482
00:25:13,546 --> 00:25:17,619
ALSO, HE SAID, "I LOVE ANTS.

483
00:25:17,619 --> 00:25:19,828
THEY PUT MY KIDS THROUGH

484
00:25:19,828 --> 00:25:22,590
COLLEGE."

485
00:25:25,420 --> 00:25:28,009
INVENTION IS EVERYWHERE.

486
00:25:28,009 --> 00:25:29,907
THE RUBBER SOLES ON THAT

487
00:25:29,907 --> 00:25:31,012
WOMAN'S FOOT IS FROM AN

488
00:25:31,012 --> 00:25:32,392
INVENTOR.

489
00:25:32,392 --> 00:25:34,463
THE CONCRETE, THE CHAIN LINK

490
00:25:34,463 --> 00:25:37,018
FENCE, IT'S ALL FROM INVENTORS.

491
00:25:37,018 --> 00:25:38,951
WE'RE EVERYWHERE.

492
00:25:38,951 --> 00:25:40,608
IT'S HUMAN NATURE TO INVENT,

493
00:25:40,608 --> 00:25:41,850
TO CREATE, TO TINKER,

494
00:25:41,850 --> 00:25:43,818
TO DIVERSIFY, TO EVEN AMUSE.

495
00:25:43,818 --> 00:25:45,095
THE URGE TO CREATE THINGS IS

496
00:25:45,095 --> 00:25:46,337
FAR GREATER THAN THE URGE TO

497
00:25:46,337 --> 00:25:49,962
DESTROY THEM.

498
00:25:49,962 --> 00:25:50,997
AND A GREAT INVENTION WILL

499
00:25:50,997 --> 00:25:51,998
OUTLIVE ITS INVENTOR BY

500
00:25:51,998 --> 00:25:54,345
A THOUSAND TIMES.

501
00:26:02,388 --> 00:26:04,252
GOOD MORNING, GUYS.

502
00:26:04,252 --> 00:26:05,356
WOW, THIS IS NICE.

503
00:26:05,356 --> 00:26:07,048
MORNING, FU MANCHU.

504
00:26:07,048 --> 00:26:10,879
>>

505
00:26:10,879 --> 00:26:12,571
I CAN SEE I'M GONNA HAVE TO SET

506
00:26:12,571 --> 00:26:13,882
MY TAILOR ON YOU, JOHNSON.

507
00:26:13,882 --> 00:26:15,297
SO, TELL ME AGAIN WHAT IS IT

508
00:26:15,297 --> 00:26:16,229
WE'RE MAKING.

509
00:26:16,229 --> 00:26:17,541
>> WELL, IT'S BASICALLY A

510
00:26:17,541 --> 00:26:18,404
HUMOROUS DOMESTIC...

511
00:26:18,404 --> 00:26:20,544
>> HYGIENE PRODUCT, I REMEMBER.

512
00:26:20,544 --> 00:26:21,718
WHAT KIND OF QUANTITIES ARE WE

513
00:26:21,718 --> 00:26:22,926
TALKING ABOUT, IN UNITS OF...

514
00:26:22,926 --> 00:26:24,513
10,000?

515
00:26:24,513 --> 00:26:25,342
>> OH, SLIGHTLY LESS THAN

516
00:26:25,342 --> 00:26:27,171
ONE UNIT.

517
00:26:27,171 --> 00:26:28,034
>> YOU'RE A HIGH ROLLER,

518
00:26:28,034 --> 00:26:30,865
JOHNSON...

519
00:26:30,865 --> 00:26:32,073
...SO, THOMAS HAS AGREED TO TAKE

520
00:26:32,073 --> 00:26:33,937
THE MEETING, THAT'S GOOD.

521
00:26:33,937 --> 00:26:35,352
NO, HE WON'T TELL ME WHAT THE

522
00:26:35,352 --> 00:26:36,353
ACTUAL PRODUCT IS, BUT IT'S

523
00:26:36,353 --> 00:26:37,147
A TEXTILE PRODUCT.

524
00:26:37,147 --> 00:26:40,184
I'M SURE IT'LL BE FINE.

525
00:26:40,184 --> 00:26:43,084
IT'S A SMALL BATCH, REALLY.

526
00:26:43,084 --> 00:26:44,637
BIT OF A FAVOR.

527
00:26:44,637 --> 00:26:46,328
ALL RIGHT, I'LL TELL HIM.

528
00:26:46,328 --> 00:26:49,159
THANKS, WENDY, BYE-BYE.

529
00:26:49,159 --> 00:26:50,609
WELL, THAT'S GOOD NEWS, JOHNSON.

530
00:26:50,609 --> 00:26:51,782
I JUST GOT YOU A MEETING

531
00:26:51,782 --> 00:26:53,025
TOMORROW AT 10:30.

532
00:26:53,025 --> 00:26:55,061
>> THAT'S GREAT.

533
00:26:55,061 --> 00:26:56,131
>> EVERYTHING'S EASIER WHEN YOU

534
00:26:56,131 --> 00:26:57,685
KNOW THE RIGHT PEOPLE.

535
00:26:57,685 --> 00:27:00,204
LET'S HAVE A TOAST, COME ON.

536
00:27:00,204 --> 00:27:01,861
TOAST, YEAH.

537
00:27:01,861 --> 00:27:04,036
TO JOHNSON.

538
00:27:04,036 --> 00:27:05,209
JOHNSON, YAY!

539
00:27:05,209 --> 00:27:06,866
CHEERS, JOHNSON.

540
00:27:06,866 --> 00:27:11,422
MM, AHH, VODKA ZINGERS.

541
00:27:11,422 --> 00:27:13,424
SMASHING.

542
00:27:18,637 --> 00:27:20,673
>>

543
00:27:20,673 --> 00:27:23,055
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

544
00:27:26,783 --> 00:27:27,818
REALLY?

545
00:27:27,818 --> 00:27:28,647
YOU SHOULD'VE BEEN

546
00:27:28,647 --> 00:27:29,958
HERE 15 YEARS AGO, JOHNSON.

547
00:27:29,958 --> 00:27:30,856
WHEN THE WHOLE ECONOMIC

548
00:27:30,856 --> 00:27:33,065
EXPANSION WAS BEGINNING,

549
00:27:33,065 --> 00:27:34,273
BLOKE LIKE ME WHO COULD SPEAK

550
00:27:34,273 --> 00:27:38,070
THE LANGUAGE, I WAS IN DEMAND.

551
00:27:38,070 --> 00:27:39,485
I TELL YOU WHAT, THEN, LOOK AT

552
00:27:39,485 --> 00:27:40,831
THIS.

553
00:27:40,831 --> 00:27:42,661
STUCK ON ME WRIST.

554
00:27:42,661 --> 00:27:44,766
NOW, THIS WATCH.

555
00:27:44,766 --> 00:27:46,595
THIS WATCH, JOHNSON.

556
00:27:46,595 --> 00:27:50,047
THIS WAS MY REWARD TO MYSELF

557
00:27:50,047 --> 00:27:51,946
FOR MY FIRST FINANCIAL DEAL

558
00:27:51,946 --> 00:27:53,223
WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE.

559
00:27:53,223 --> 00:27:55,432
LOOK AT IT.

560
00:27:55,432 --> 00:27:57,054
FEEL THE WEIGHT.

561
00:27:57,054 --> 00:27:59,401
LOOK AT THE QUALITY.

562
00:27:59,401 --> 00:28:02,163
>> THIS IS VERY, VERY NICE.

563
00:28:02,163 --> 00:28:03,026
YEAH.

564
00:28:03,026 --> 00:28:05,649
MM...

565
00:28:05,649 --> 00:28:06,719
YES...

566
00:28:06,719 --> 00:28:07,720
VERY NICE.

567
00:28:07,720 --> 00:28:08,514
>> VERY NICE.

568
00:28:11,620 --> 00:28:12,691
YOU DON'T KNOW THE DIFFERENCE

569
00:28:12,691 --> 00:28:13,622
BETWEEN REAL AND FAKE,

570
00:28:13,622 --> 00:28:14,796
IT'S 'CAUSE YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT

571
00:28:14,796 --> 00:28:17,143
YOU'RE LOOKING FOR.

572
00:28:17,143 --> 00:28:18,351
YOU KNOW A REAL WATCH TELEGRAPHS

573
00:28:18,351 --> 00:28:19,974
ITS AUTHENTICITY FROM A MILE

574
00:28:19,974 --> 00:28:23,909
OFF.

575
00:28:23,909 --> 00:28:25,117
IT'S LIKE ITS OWNER, IT'S THE

576
00:28:25,117 --> 00:28:27,291
REAL DEAL, IT'S THE REAL DEAL.

577
00:28:28,361 --> 00:28:29,535
NO.

578
00:28:29,535 --> 00:28:31,088
>> HE'S THE REAL DEAL.

579
00:28:31,088 --> 00:28:32,089
WHAT TIME IS IT?

580
00:28:32,089 --> 00:28:32,711
>> YEAH?

581
00:28:32,711 --> 00:28:34,816
>> YEAH.

582
00:28:34,816 --> 00:28:35,679
THE REAL DEAL.

583
00:28:35,679 --> 00:28:41,789
>>

584
00:28:44,274 --> 00:28:45,206
>> DAVID.

585
00:28:45,206 --> 00:28:46,414
>> HEY, GREAT TO SEE YOU AGAIN.

586
00:28:46,414 --> 00:28:47,622
>> GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN.

587
00:28:47,622 --> 00:28:50,004
>> GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN.
>> COME ON IN.

588
00:28:50,004 --> 00:28:52,869
>> COME ON IN.

589
00:28:52,869 --> 00:29:00,428
>>

590
00:29:00,428 --> 00:29:05,916
♪ YA-OOH...

591
00:29:05,916 --> 00:29:06,710
>> YOU KNOW WHAT?

592
00:29:06,710 --> 00:29:07,987
I'LL TAKE CARE OF THIS TODAY.

593
00:29:07,987 --> 00:29:12,992
>>

594
00:29:12,992 --> 00:29:17,928
♪ YA-OOH...

595
00:29:20,966 --> 00:29:31,770
♪ OOH... OH.

596
00:29:37,465 --> 00:29:58,520
>>

597
00:30:09,566 --> 00:30:11,223
>> CAN'T HANDLE YOUR DRINK?

598
00:30:11,223 --> 00:30:12,741
WELL, OUR DISCREET TIE SICK-BAG

599
00:30:12,741 --> 00:30:14,260
IS PERFECT FOR THE BUSINESSMAN

600
00:30:14,260 --> 00:30:15,365
CAUGHT SHORT ON AN UNPLANNED

601
00:30:15,365 --> 00:30:16,297
DRINKING SESSION.

602
00:30:18,333 --> 00:30:19,818
YOU KNOW THE SCENARIO.

603
00:30:19,818 --> 00:30:21,543
ONE QUICK AFTER-WORK THAT

604
00:30:21,543 --> 00:30:23,373
ENDS IN ALL-NIGHT GRUESOME BINGE

605
00:30:23,373 --> 00:30:24,753
DRINKING.

606
00:30:24,753 --> 00:30:26,341
IT'S 3 a.m., YOU'VE lost your

607
00:30:26,341 --> 00:30:28,171
keys, your wallet, your cell

608
00:30:28,171 --> 00:30:29,724
phone, and now you're losing

609
00:30:29,724 --> 00:30:30,552
your lunch.

610
00:30:30,552 --> 00:30:32,002
Toss your cookies into this

611
00:30:32,002 --> 00:30:34,211
paper bag built into your snazzy

612
00:30:34,211 --> 00:30:35,109
tie.

613
00:30:35,109 --> 00:30:36,144
Instantly deployable,

614
00:30:36,144 --> 00:30:38,250
fully waterproof, easy to

615
00:30:38,250 --> 00:30:40,217
replace and remove.

616
00:30:40,217 --> 00:30:41,425
Never hurl into your friend's

617
00:30:41,425 --> 00:30:42,219
face again.

618
00:30:42,219 --> 00:30:44,187
IT'S perfect for taxi rides,

619
00:30:44,187 --> 00:30:45,774
overcrowded restaurant booths

620
00:30:45,774 --> 00:30:47,707
and even elevators.

621
00:30:47,707 --> 00:30:50,055
And if you buy now, IT'S only

622
00:30:50,055 --> 00:30:51,919
available at Johnson Novelties.

623
00:30:51,919 --> 00:30:54,335
Prices start at $9.97.

624
00:30:54,956 --> 00:30:55,819
COME ON, JOHNSON,

625
00:30:55,819 --> 00:30:57,303
WE'VE GOTTA GO.

626
00:30:57,303 --> 00:31:00,410
I WANNA SEE FLAMES.

627
00:31:00,410 --> 00:31:01,756
GO ON, PUFF.

628
00:31:01,756 --> 00:31:04,276
PUFF.

629
00:31:04,276 --> 00:31:08,038
THAT'S GOT IT.

630
00:31:08,038 --> 00:31:09,384
'ATTA BOY.

631
00:31:09,384 --> 00:31:10,144
>>

632
00:31:10,144 --> 00:31:11,317
>> DON'T INHALE.

633
00:31:11,317 --> 00:31:12,767
>> JUST PUFF, O.K.

634
00:31:12,767 --> 00:31:14,907
>> JUST PUFF.

635
00:31:14,907 --> 00:31:16,322
>> I THINK I GOT IT.

636
00:31:16,322 --> 00:31:18,324
>> I THINK YOU DID.

637
00:31:18,324 --> 00:31:20,879
>>

638
00:31:20,879 --> 00:31:23,295
>> THAT'S IT.

639
00:31:23,295 --> 00:31:27,230
>> LOOK.

640
00:31:27,230 --> 00:31:29,301
GARY DAHL TOOK A SIMPLE ROCK

641
00:31:29,301 --> 00:31:31,613
LIKE THIS AND TURNED IT INTO

642
00:31:31,613 --> 00:31:34,858
A MILLION-DOLLAR NOVELTY ITEM.

643
00:31:34,858 --> 00:31:36,032
DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS,

644
00:31:36,032 --> 00:31:37,412
MAGNUS?

645
00:31:37,412 --> 00:31:39,173
>> NO.

646
00:31:39,173 --> 00:31:40,760
>> THAT MEANS THERE COULD BE

647
00:31:40,760 --> 00:31:42,245
A MILLION DOLLARS UNDER OUR NOSE

648
00:31:42,245 --> 00:31:45,075
RIGHT NOW.

649
00:31:45,075 --> 00:31:46,490
>> I THINK I'D KNOW IF THERE WAS

650
00:31:46,490 --> 00:31:47,767
A MILLION DOLLARS UNDER MY NOSE

651
00:31:47,767 --> 00:31:48,768
RIGHT NOW.

652
00:31:48,768 --> 00:31:52,151
>> ONE MILLION DOLLARS.

653
00:31:54,636 --> 00:31:56,293
>> COME ON.

654
00:31:56,293 --> 00:31:57,916
COME WITH ME.

655
00:31:59,641 --> 00:32:01,885
IN 1975, GARY DAHL

656
00:32:01,885 --> 00:32:03,507
ESTABLISHED ROCK BOTTOM

657
00:32:03,507 --> 00:32:04,888
PRODUCTIONS.

658
00:32:04,888 --> 00:32:06,303
WHAT HE DID WAS TAKE AN

659
00:32:06,303 --> 00:32:07,753
ORDINARY ROCK AND SELL IT AS

660
00:32:07,753 --> 00:32:11,964
A LIVE PET FOR $3.95 EACH.

661
00:32:14,242 --> 00:32:15,899
THE ROCK WAS NESTLED IN A SMALL

662
00:32:15,899 --> 00:32:18,074
CARDBOARD BOX AND INCLUDED A

663
00:32:18,074 --> 00:32:20,007
PET ROCK TRAINING MANUAL, WHICH

664
00:32:20,007 --> 00:32:21,801
INCLUDED CERTAIN TRICKS YOU

665
00:32:21,801 --> 00:32:24,735
COULD TEACH THE NEW PET LIKE...

666
00:32:24,735 --> 00:32:27,117
SIT, STAY, ROLL OVER,

667
00:32:27,117 --> 00:32:28,705
PLAY DEAD.

668
00:32:28,705 --> 00:32:30,707
WELL, THE FAD ONLY LASTED ABOUT

669
00:32:30,707 --> 00:32:33,020
SIX MONTHS OR SO, ENDING WITH

670
00:32:33,020 --> 00:32:34,918
THE CHRISTMAS SEASON IN 1975,

671
00:32:34,918 --> 00:32:38,232
BUT WHO CARES-- IN 1975, THAT

672
00:32:38,232 --> 00:32:40,096
LITTLE ITTY-BITTY TINY ROCK

673
00:32:40,096 --> 00:32:41,718
MADE GARY DAHL OVER

674
00:32:41,718 --> 00:32:42,926
$15 MILLION.

675
00:32:52,936 --> 00:32:54,006
COMING.

676
00:32:56,526 --> 00:32:57,182
MORNING, JOHNSON.

677
00:32:57,182 --> 00:32:59,391
>> MORNING, MR. SAM.

678
00:32:59,391 --> 00:33:03,567
>> HERE'S YOUR BILL.

679
00:33:03,567 --> 00:33:05,086
>> WHOA.

680
00:33:05,086 --> 00:33:06,087
I THOUGHT THINGS WERE CHEAPER

681
00:33:06,087 --> 00:33:07,986
HERE IN SHANGHAI, CHINA.

682
00:33:07,986 --> 00:33:10,160
>> ONE SUIT PLUS ONE SUIT.

683
00:33:10,160 --> 00:33:12,991
VERY GOOD PRICE.

684
00:33:12,991 --> 00:33:15,303
>> BUT I ONLY ORDERED ONE SUIT.

685
00:33:15,303 --> 00:33:16,339
>> HERE.

686
00:33:16,339 --> 00:33:17,581
YOUR FRIEND'S SUIT.

687
00:33:17,581 --> 00:33:19,894
HE CHOSE 100% CASHMERE

688
00:33:19,894 --> 00:33:25,072
FROM ITALY, VERY EXPENSIVE.

689
00:33:25,072 --> 00:33:26,383
>> O.K.

690
00:33:26,383 --> 00:33:28,144
LET ME GRAB MY MONEY BELT.

691
00:33:28,144 --> 00:33:33,666
>> O.K.

692
00:33:47,784 --> 00:33:50,028
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

693
00:33:50,028 --> 00:33:50,614
>> IT'S FAKE.

694
00:33:50,614 --> 00:33:51,581
>> EW.

695
00:33:51,581 --> 00:33:53,824
>> YEAH, THOMAS, IT'S MAGNUS.

696
00:33:53,824 --> 00:33:55,205
I JUST GOT OFF THE PHONE WITH

697
00:33:55,205 --> 00:33:56,965
YOUR ASSISTANT.

698
00:33:56,965 --> 00:33:58,139
HE SAID YOU'RE NOT EVEN IN

699
00:33:58,139 --> 00:33:59,865
THE OFFICE TODAY.

700
00:33:59,865 --> 00:34:01,625
HOW CAN THAT BE?

701
00:34:01,625 --> 00:34:02,661
WE'VE GOT A MEETING IN

702
00:34:02,661 --> 00:34:04,387
15 MINUTES.

703
00:34:04,387 --> 00:34:05,905
WELL, CAN'T THE CLIENT MEET US?

704
00:34:05,905 --> 00:34:07,286
NO, I GOT HIM IN THE CAR

705
00:34:07,286 --> 00:34:08,460
RIGHT NOW.

706
00:34:08,460 --> 00:34:11,359
THOMAS?

707
00:34:11,359 --> 00:34:12,842
NO, THAT'S UNACCEPTABLE.

708
00:34:12,842 --> 00:34:14,466
UTTERLY UNACCEPTABLE.

709
00:34:14,466 --> 00:34:15,570
I'M VERY DISAPPOINTED IN YOUR

710
00:34:15,570 --> 00:34:17,158
LACK OF VISION.

711
00:34:17,158 --> 00:34:19,056
>> WHAT'S WRONG?

712
00:34:19,056 --> 00:34:20,058
>> JUST LET ME THINK FOR

713
00:34:20,058 --> 00:34:21,024
A SECOND.

714
00:34:21,024 --> 00:34:22,232
>> O.K.

715
00:34:22,232 --> 00:34:24,855
>> I HATE THIS WEATHER.

716
00:34:24,855 --> 00:34:28,065
I THINK I'M GETTING A MIGRAINE.

717
00:34:29,619 --> 00:34:32,139
>> OH, HONEY.

718
00:34:32,139 --> 00:34:33,864
>> LOOK, JOHNSON.

719
00:34:33,864 --> 00:34:35,487
I MAY HAVE A BIT OF A PROBLEM

720
00:34:35,487 --> 00:34:36,936
FINDING YOU A MANUFACTURER.

721
00:34:36,936 --> 00:34:38,005
ALL MY CLIENTS ARE ONLY

722
00:34:38,005 --> 00:34:39,766
INTERESTED IN BIG DEALS.

723
00:34:39,766 --> 00:34:40,768
>> BUT ONLY THE FIRST ORDER

724
00:34:40,768 --> 00:34:41,803
WILL BE SMALL, MAGNUS.

725
00:34:41,803 --> 00:34:43,184
I HAVE LOTS OF IDEAS LINED UP

726
00:34:43,184 --> 00:34:44,427
AT JOHNSON NOVELTIES.

727
00:34:44,427 --> 00:34:46,842
>> YEAH, I KNOW, I KNOW.

728
00:34:48,465 --> 00:34:49,466
BUT LET'S BE REALISTIC FOR

729
00:34:49,466 --> 00:34:50,088
A SECOND.

730
00:34:50,088 --> 00:34:51,951
TIME IS OF THE ESSENCE HERE.

731
00:34:51,951 --> 00:34:53,643
I RECKON YOU HAVE TWO CHOICES.

732
00:34:53,643 --> 00:34:54,851
ONE, I CAN HAVE OLIVE HERE

733
00:34:54,851 --> 00:34:56,404
GIVE YOU YOUR MONEY BACK WHILST

734
00:34:56,404 --> 00:34:57,612
YOU STILL HAVE THE CHANCE TO

735
00:34:57,612 --> 00:34:59,718
FIND ANOTHER MANUFACTURER,

736
00:34:59,718 --> 00:35:01,478
OR YOU CAN STICK WITH ME.

737
00:35:01,478 --> 00:35:02,686
>> I WANT TO STICK WITH YOU,

738
00:35:02,686 --> 00:35:03,825
OF COURSE.

739
00:35:03,825 --> 00:35:04,826
>> YEAH, THE PROBLEM WITH THAT

740
00:35:04,826 --> 00:35:06,449
IS IT ISGONNA COST YOU A LITTLE

741
00:35:06,449 --> 00:35:09,141
BIT MORE MONEY.

742
00:35:09,141 --> 00:35:10,901
>> HOW MUCH ARE WE TALKING?

743
00:35:10,901 --> 00:35:12,696
>> 15 TO 20% OF THE ORDER SIZE.

744
00:35:12,696 --> 00:35:14,284
>> THAT'S 25% OF WHAT I ACTUALLY

745
00:35:14,284 --> 00:35:15,492
BROUGHT OUT HERE.

746
00:35:15,492 --> 00:35:17,839
>> WELL, YEAH, IT IS.

747
00:35:17,839 --> 00:35:18,840
BUT I'LL NEGOTIATE THAT PAYOUT

748
00:35:18,840 --> 00:35:20,221
ON THE BACK END, YOU'LL SEE IT

749
00:35:20,221 --> 00:35:21,291
ALL BACK IN PRODUCT.

750
00:35:21,291 --> 00:35:24,191
I'LL MAKE SURE OF IT.

751
00:35:24,191 --> 00:35:27,953
>> O.K.

752
00:35:27,953 --> 00:35:31,059
WOULD, UH, 500 BE ENOUGH FOR A

753
00:35:31,059 --> 00:35:33,027
GOOD FAITH FEE?

754
00:35:33,027 --> 00:35:35,340
>> NO, NOT REALLY.

755
00:35:35,340 --> 00:35:36,617
I THINK ANYTHING LESS THAN...

756
00:35:36,617 --> 00:35:40,138
I THINK ANYTHING LESS THAN...
2,000 IS A BIT OF AN INSULT.

757
00:35:40,138 --> 00:35:47,800
2,000 IS A BIT OF AN INSULT.

758
00:35:47,800 --> 00:35:52,564
>> OLIVE.

759
00:35:58,294 --> 00:36:00,468
YEAH, WENDY, IT'S MAGNUS.

760
00:36:00,468 --> 00:36:03,471
YEAH, IT FELL THROUGH.

761
00:36:03,471 --> 00:36:04,886
I MIGHT AS WELL COME BACK TO

762
00:36:04,886 --> 00:36:06,094
THE OFFICE AND LOOK OVER THOSE

763
00:36:06,094 --> 00:36:08,131
ANDERSON PAPERS AGAIN, YEAH.

764
00:36:08,131 --> 00:36:09,132
I'LL BE THERE IN ABOUT

765
00:36:09,132 --> 00:36:11,893
25 MINUTES, ALL RIGHT?

766
00:36:11,893 --> 00:36:14,689
ALL RIGHT, SEE YOU IN A BIT.

767
00:36:14,689 --> 00:36:16,104
LISTEN, JOHNSON, I'M GONNA

768
00:36:16,104 --> 00:36:17,485
DROP YOU OFF AT THE END OF

769
00:36:17,485 --> 00:36:18,900
THE BLOCK HERE, I'M GONNA GO AND

770
00:36:18,900 --> 00:36:19,522
TAKE ANOTHER MEETING.

771
00:36:19,522 --> 00:36:20,523
I'LL CALL YOU AFTER HE'S

772
00:36:20,523 --> 00:36:21,731
COME BACK TO ME WITH ANYTHING,

773
00:36:21,731 --> 00:36:22,801
ALL RIGHT?

774
00:36:22,801 --> 00:36:23,664
>> ALL RIGHT.

775
00:36:23,664 --> 00:36:32,776
>> CHAUFFEUR.

776
00:37:02,220 --> 00:37:06,224
>>

777
00:37:06,224 --> 00:37:10,780
YEAR OF THE PIG.

778
00:37:10,780 --> 00:37:12,230
>> YOU ARE THE PIG.

779
00:37:12,230 --> 00:37:13,610
>> NO, NO.

780
00:37:13,610 --> 00:37:16,234
YEAR OF THE PIG.

781
00:37:16,234 --> 00:37:18,236
>> YOU ARE THE PIG...

782
00:37:18,236 --> 00:37:19,444
NOT ME.

783
00:37:19,444 --> 00:37:21,791
>> PIGGY. LIKE...

784
00:37:21,791 --> 00:37:23,965
YEAR OF THE PIGGY.

785
00:37:23,965 --> 00:37:26,554
>> OH, YEAR, YEAH.

786
00:37:26,554 --> 00:37:30,903
THIS YEAR. PIGGY YEAR.

787
00:37:30,903 --> 00:37:32,595
>> MM...

788
00:37:32,595 --> 00:37:33,803
I'LL TAKE THIS, PLEASE.

789
00:37:34,942 --> 00:37:36,323
>>

790
00:37:45,263 --> 00:37:47,989
>> Magnus:

791
00:37:47,989 --> 00:37:49,715
VERY NICE.

792
00:37:49,715 --> 00:37:56,377
>>

793
00:38:48,981 --> 00:38:49,810
>> HELLO?

794
00:38:49,810 --> 00:38:51,743
>> Johnson, IT'S Magnus.

795
00:38:51,743 --> 00:38:52,640
>> HEY, MAGNUS.

796
00:38:52,640 --> 00:38:54,332
>> Listen, I got some good news.

797
00:38:54,332 --> 00:38:55,747
I just got you a meeting.

798
00:38:55,747 --> 00:38:56,955
>> REALLY?

799
00:38:56,955 --> 00:38:58,853
WELL, THAT, THAT, THAT'S GREAT!

800
00:38:58,853 --> 00:39:00,096
WHEN? >> Where are you?

801
00:39:00,096 --> 00:39:01,511
>> I THINK I'M AT PU DONG

802
00:39:01,511 --> 00:39:02,374
RIGHT NOW.

803
00:39:02,374 --> 00:39:03,479
>> O.K., well, listen.

804
00:39:03,479 --> 00:39:04,514
Meet me at the Northern

805
00:39:04,514 --> 00:39:05,377
train station, O.K.?

806
00:39:05,377 --> 00:39:06,447
Northern train station

807
00:39:06,447 --> 00:39:07,379
in 10 minutes.

808
00:39:07,379 --> 00:39:08,760
>> O.K., NO, WHERE'S THE

809
00:39:08,760 --> 00:39:09,761
NORTHERN TRAIN STATION?

810
00:39:09,761 --> 00:39:12,557
HELLO? MAGNUS? MAGNUS?

811
00:39:14,800 --> 00:39:18,045
SIR? SIR? HOW MUCH LONGER?

812
00:39:18,045 --> 00:39:21,082
>> 20 MINUTES.

813
00:39:21,082 --> 00:39:22,118
20 MINUTES.

814
00:39:22,118 --> 00:39:23,671
>> O.K., UM, CAN YOU MAKE IT

815
00:39:23,671 --> 00:39:25,190
IN 10 MINUTES?

816
00:39:25,190 --> 00:39:28,020
IN 10 MINUTES?
>> AH...

817
00:39:28,020 --> 00:39:32,508
>> AH...

818
00:39:32,508 --> 00:39:33,371
>> NOW, THE MANUFACTURER IS

819
00:39:33,371 --> 00:39:34,544
ABOUT 45 MINUTES OUT OF TOWN,

820
00:39:34,544 --> 00:39:35,752
SO HIS RATES ARE REALLY GOOD

821
00:39:35,752 --> 00:39:36,753
AND YOUR MONEY'S GONNA GO

822
00:39:36,753 --> 00:39:37,375
A LOT FURTHER.

823
00:39:37,375 --> 00:39:38,617
I DON'T KNOW WHY I DIDN'T

824
00:39:38,617 --> 00:39:39,480
THINK OF IT BEFORE.

825
00:39:39,480 --> 00:39:40,343
IT'S PERFECT.

826
00:39:40,343 --> 00:39:41,206
HIS NAME'S JOE FRIEDMAN.

827
00:39:41,206 --> 00:39:42,241
I'VE DONE WORK WITH HIM,

828
00:39:42,241 --> 00:39:42,828
EXCEPTIONAL WORK.

829
00:39:42,828 --> 00:39:43,864
TAKE THAT IF YOU GOT

830
00:39:43,864 --> 00:39:44,554
ANY PROBLEMS.

831
00:39:44,554 --> 00:39:45,969
I'M SORRY TO HAVE TO RUSH YOU,

832
00:39:45,969 --> 00:39:47,177
BUT IT'S GOT TO HAPPEN TODAY.

833
00:39:47,177 --> 00:39:48,213
HE'S FLYING TO A WEDDING

834
00:39:48,213 --> 00:39:49,007
TOMORROW IN ISRAEL.

835
00:39:49,007 --> 00:39:50,249
THAT'S YOUR TICKET, ALL RIGHT?

836
00:39:50,249 --> 00:39:51,527
I'M SORRY, I WOULD COME WITH

837
00:39:51,527 --> 00:39:52,976
YOU, BUT I GOT CLIENTS IN TOWN

838
00:39:52,976 --> 00:39:53,736
ALL DAY.

839
00:39:53,736 --> 00:39:54,806
>> MAGNUS, I THINK YOU SHOULD

840
00:39:54,806 --> 00:39:55,738
REALLY COME WITH ME.

841
00:39:55,738 --> 00:39:56,739
>> YOU'LL BE FINE.

842
00:39:56,739 --> 00:39:57,809
HE'S A JEW FROM CANADA.

843
00:39:57,809 --> 00:40:00,363
HE SPEAKS PERFECT ENGLISH.

844
00:40:00,363 --> 00:40:01,399
>> MAGNUS, I THINK YOU SHOULD

845
00:40:01,399 --> 00:40:03,159
REALLY COME WITH ME.

846
00:40:03,159 --> 00:40:04,747
>> YOU DON'T NEED ME, JOHNSON.

847
00:40:04,747 --> 00:40:07,646
YOU'RE A NATURAL BUSINESSMAN.

848
00:40:07,646 --> 00:40:08,647
>> REALLY?

849
00:40:08,647 --> 00:40:09,648
>> YOU IMPRESSED ME, RIGHT?

850
00:40:09,648 --> 00:40:10,787
NOW, CALL ME THE MINUTE

851
00:40:10,787 --> 00:40:11,581
YOU GET BACK.

852
00:40:11,581 --> 00:40:13,238
I WANT TO HEAR ALL THE DETAILS.

853
00:40:13,238 --> 00:40:14,412
AND TONIGHT I'M GONNA WINE

854
00:40:14,412 --> 00:40:15,551
AND DINE MY NUMBER-ONE NOVELTY

855
00:40:15,551 --> 00:40:17,587
CLIENT.

856
00:40:17,587 --> 00:40:18,864
YOU BETTER GO, ALL RIGHT?

857
00:40:18,864 --> 00:40:19,969
GO GET THE TRAIN.

858
00:40:19,969 --> 00:40:22,143
GO GET THE TRAIN.
>> MAGNUS... THANKS.

859
00:40:22,143 --> 00:40:28,046
>> MAGNUS... THANKS.

860
00:41:32,559 --> 00:41:33,836
[MUSIC AND WHISTLING

861
00:41:36,183 --> 00:41:58,274
CONTINUE...]

862
00:41:58,274 --> 00:41:59,758
EXCUSE ME.

863
00:41:59,758 --> 00:42:02,381
EXCUSE ME, UM...

864
00:42:02,381 --> 00:42:04,383
UM, DO YOU, DO YOU KNOW

865
00:42:04,383 --> 00:42:05,453
WHERE WE ARE GOING?

866
00:42:05,453 --> 00:42:06,696
UM, DO YOU KNOW WHERE

867
00:42:06,696 --> 00:42:09,147
THE TRAIN IS STOPPING?

868
00:42:09,147 --> 00:42:11,011
SEE, I'VE BEEN ON THIS TRAIN

869
00:42:11,011 --> 00:42:13,047
FOR OVER AN HOUR NOW, AND I

870
00:42:13,047 --> 00:42:14,532
THINK I WAS SUPPOSED TO STOP

871
00:42:14,532 --> 00:42:17,465
AROUND 40 MINUTES.

872
00:42:17,465 --> 00:42:18,777
DO, DO YOU KNOW WHERE

873
00:42:18,777 --> 00:42:20,054
THIS TRAIN IS GOING?

874
00:42:20,054 --> 00:42:22,470
WHERE WE'RE STOPPING?

875
00:42:22,470 --> 00:42:24,783
WHERE WE'RE STOPPING?
>>

876
00:42:24,783 --> 00:42:30,202
>>

877
00:42:30,202 --> 00:42:31,894
>> UM, THE, THE TRAIN.

878
00:42:31,894 --> 00:42:33,171
>> WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

879
00:42:33,171 --> 00:42:38,348
>> YEAH, UM...

880
00:42:38,348 --> 00:42:42,836
>>

881
00:42:42,836 --> 00:42:45,528
ZHOUZHUANG.

882
00:42:45,528 --> 00:42:47,323
>> ONE MORE TIME?

883
00:42:47,323 --> 00:42:48,393
>>

884
00:42:48,393 --> 00:42:52,535
UM... YOU... YOU GOING

885
00:42:52,535 --> 00:42:54,088
TO ZHOUZHUANG.

886
00:42:54,088 --> 00:42:55,434
>> O.K., ZHOUZHUANG.

887
00:42:55,434 --> 00:42:57,920
UM... IS JOE FRIEDMAN THERE?

888
00:42:57,920 --> 00:43:01,924
DO YOU KNOW A JOE FRIEDMAN?

889
00:43:01,924 --> 00:43:03,926
SORRY, UM...

890
00:43:03,926 --> 00:43:05,065
>> FRIEDMAN?

891
00:43:05,065 --> 00:43:10,760
>>

892
00:43:10,760 --> 00:43:11,899
WHAT'S WRONG?

893
00:43:11,899 --> 00:43:13,798
>> SORRY, UM, NO, I, I...

894
00:43:13,798 --> 00:43:15,316
>> SORRY, UM, NO, I, I...
UM...

895
00:43:15,316 --> 00:43:20,667
UM...

896
00:43:20,667 --> 00:43:24,394
>> MM... UH...

897
00:43:24,394 --> 00:43:26,638
>>

898
00:43:26,638 --> 00:43:31,609
UM...

899
00:43:31,609 --> 00:43:33,852
"GET OFF TRAIN."

900
00:43:35,889 --> 00:43:41,273
>>

901
00:43:41,273 --> 00:43:44,414
WHERE... WHERE...

902
00:43:44,414 --> 00:43:46,416
WHERE GET OFF TRAIN?

903
00:43:46,416 --> 00:43:48,626
>> YEAH, GET OFF TRAIN.

904
00:43:48,626 --> 00:43:50,973
STOP. WHERE DOES TRAIN STOP?

905
00:43:50,973 --> 00:43:53,354
>> ZHOU... ZHOUZHUANG.

906
00:43:53,354 --> 00:43:55,702
>> ZHOUZHUANG?

907
00:43:55,702 --> 00:43:57,151
YOU KNOW WHAT?

908
00:43:57,151 --> 00:43:59,464
YOU KNOW WHAT?
I REMEMBER THAT IN MY GUIDEBOOK.

909
00:43:59,464 --> 00:44:03,433
I REMEMBER THAT IN MY GUIDEBOOK.

910
00:44:03,433 --> 00:44:07,299
ZHOUZHUANG.

911
00:44:07,299 --> 00:44:09,992
IT'S AN ANCIENT WATER CITY.

912
00:44:09,992 --> 00:44:11,165
>> UH...

913
00:44:11,165 --> 00:44:13,271
>> WATER CITY.

914
00:44:13,271 --> 00:44:14,893
>> WHAT CITY?

915
00:44:14,893 --> 00:44:17,965
>> WATER. UM...

916
00:44:17,965 --> 00:44:20,830
WATER, WATER, WATER, WATER.

917
00:44:20,830 --> 00:44:21,762
>>

918
00:44:21,762 --> 00:44:25,939
>> YEAH, WATER CITY.

919
00:44:25,939 --> 00:44:27,388
DO YOU UNDERSTAND?

920
00:44:27,388 --> 00:44:29,183
>> NO, NO, NO.

921
00:44:29,183 --> 00:44:30,460
SORRY, SORRY.

922
00:44:30,460 --> 00:44:31,669
>> I DON'T UNDERSTAND EITHER.

923
00:44:31,669 --> 00:44:32,531
UM...

924
00:44:32,531 --> 00:44:34,085
SORRY.

925
00:44:34,085 --> 00:44:35,017
>> IT'S ACTUALLY QUITE

926
00:44:35,017 --> 00:44:36,466
CONFUSING, UM, AND I'M ACTING

927
00:44:36,466 --> 00:44:38,054
LIKE A COMPLETE FOOL RIGHT NOW.

928
00:44:38,054 --> 00:44:39,400
SORRY.

929
00:44:39,400 --> 00:44:41,264
UM...

930
00:44:41,264 --> 00:44:45,821
>> VERY SORRY.

931
00:44:45,821 --> 00:44:48,927
I SPEAK ENGLISH.

932
00:44:48,927 --> 00:44:50,860
>> YOU SPEAK ENGLISH?

933
00:44:50,860 --> 00:44:55,037
>> UM, NOT SPEAK ENGLISH.

934
00:44:55,037 --> 00:44:57,108
>> YEAH, UM... I DON'T

935
00:44:57,108 --> 00:44:58,350
SPEAK CHINESE.

936
00:44:58,350 --> 00:45:01,457
OH, MY GOD!

937
00:45:01,457 --> 00:45:05,185
>> UH, WE'RE IN TROUBLE, HUH?

938
00:45:05,185 --> 00:45:09,361
>> HMM?

939
00:45:14,850 --> 00:45:16,610
>> MALE. >> MALE.

940
00:45:16,610 --> 00:45:17,404
>> MALE.

941
00:45:17,404 --> 00:45:27,863
>>

942
00:45:27,863 --> 00:45:30,175
>> VERY, VERY GOOD.

943
00:45:33,558 --> 00:45:34,524
DAD.

944
00:45:34,524 --> 00:45:36,043
>> DAD. MAMA.

945
00:45:36,043 --> 00:45:37,424
>>

946
00:45:37,424 --> 00:45:40,496
>> PIAO LIANG.

947
00:45:40,496 --> 00:45:44,880
>> PIAO LIANG.UM...

948
00:45:44,880 --> 00:45:46,744
PIAO LIANG?

949
00:45:46,744 --> 00:45:48,711
>> YES, YOU ARE...

950
00:45:48,711 --> 00:45:49,885
PIAO LIANG.

951
00:45:49,885 --> 00:45:56,305
>> UH...

952
00:46:02,760 --> 00:46:04,554
>> UM, SO, LET ME CALL MY

953
00:46:04,554 --> 00:46:06,039
BUSINESS COLLEAGUE ONE MORE

954
00:46:06,039 --> 00:46:07,868
TIME, O.K.? >> UH, O.K.

955
00:46:07,868 --> 00:46:09,525
TIME, O.K.? >> UH, O.K.
>> O.K.

956
00:46:09,525 --> 00:46:18,430
>> O.K.

957
00:46:27,439 --> 00:46:31,858
DAMN IT!

958
00:46:31,858 --> 00:46:32,962
GUESS I SHOULD STICK

959
00:46:32,962 --> 00:46:34,895
TO WHAT I'M GOOD AT.

960
00:46:34,895 --> 00:46:37,173
TO WHAT I'M GOOD AT.
>>

961
00:46:37,173 --> 00:46:56,330
>>

962
00:47:00,231 --> 00:47:18,352
>>

963
00:47:32,125 --> 00:47:36,060
>> XIE XIE.

964
00:47:36,060 --> 00:47:39,546
>> UM, YEAH, HE DIDN'T ANSWER.

965
00:47:39,546 --> 00:47:44,896
>> UH...

966
00:47:44,896 --> 00:47:48,072
UH... ARE YOU GOING

967
00:47:48,072 --> 00:47:49,901
TO ZHOUZHUANG?

968
00:47:49,901 --> 00:47:52,662
>> UM... I DON'T KNOW.

969
00:47:52,662 --> 00:47:53,940
UH...

970
00:47:53,940 --> 00:48:00,153
>> UH... COME... COME WITH ME.

971
00:48:00,153 --> 00:48:01,188
>> COME WITH YOU?

972
00:48:01,188 --> 00:48:05,813
>> YEAH. UH, YOU... YOU AND ME

973
00:48:05,813 --> 00:48:09,093
WALK TOGETHER.

974
00:48:09,093 --> 00:48:10,888
YOU... YOU AND ME

975
00:48:10,888 --> 00:48:12,475
WALK TOGETHER.

976
00:48:12,475 --> 00:48:14,029
>> O.K., I HAVE A LITTLE TIME,

977
00:48:14,029 --> 00:48:15,306
I GUESS. >> YEAH.

978
00:48:15,306 --> 00:48:16,445
>> O.K.

979
00:48:32,840 --> 00:48:35,878
>>

980
00:48:39,468 --> 00:48:41,090
>> DO I PIAO LIANG?

981
00:48:41,090 --> 00:48:42,643
>> MM, BEAUTIFUL.

982
00:48:42,643 --> 00:48:44,059
>> BEAUTIFUL, YEAH.

983
00:48:44,059 --> 00:48:46,958
>> BEAUTIFUL, YEAH.
>>

984
00:48:46,958 --> 00:48:58,107
>>

985
00:49:11,672 --> 00:49:12,466
>> HOLD ON.

986
00:49:12,466 --> 00:49:14,434
UH, PHOTO.

987
00:49:14,434 --> 00:49:15,849
UH, PHOTO.
UM...

988
00:49:15,849 --> 00:49:23,305
UM...

989
00:49:26,480 --> 00:49:28,137
CAN I PUT MY ARM AROUND YOU?

990
00:49:28,137 --> 00:49:30,968
YEAH, O.K.

991
00:49:30,968 --> 00:49:32,555
SAY CHEESE, ALL RIGHT?

992
00:49:32,555 --> 00:49:37,975
ONE... TWO... THREE.

993
00:49:39,528 --> 00:49:40,978
[MAN SINGING IN FRENCH,

994
00:49:43,325 --> 00:49:58,512
CHORUS VOCALIZING...]

995
00:49:58,512 --> 00:50:00,825
CHORUS VOCALIZING...]
>>

996
00:50:00,825 --> 00:50:04,415
>>

997
00:50:05,588 --> 00:50:07,797
>> "...BY THE OFFSPRING OF..."

998
00:50:14,839 --> 00:50:18,774
WOW.

999
00:50:18,774 --> 00:50:23,813
>>

1000
00:50:42,246 --> 00:50:46,733
YA, YA, YA!

1001
00:50:52,014 --> 00:51:10,205
>>

1002
00:51:14,554 --> 00:51:18,972
>> UM... WILL YOU WRITE TO ME?

1003
00:51:18,972 --> 00:51:22,769
UM...

1004
00:51:22,769 --> 00:51:23,632
>> HUH?

1005
00:51:23,632 --> 00:51:27,325
>>

1006
00:51:27,325 --> 00:51:28,913
>> YEAH.

1007
00:51:28,913 --> 00:51:30,259
>>

1008
00:51:30,259 --> 00:51:32,503
>> YEAH.

1009
00:51:32,503 --> 00:51:34,884
>> UH...

1010
00:51:34,884 --> 00:51:36,541
>> YEAH...

1011
00:51:36,541 --> 00:51:41,201
>> O.K., O.K.

1012
00:51:41,201 --> 00:51:42,168
THANK YOU.

1013
00:51:42,168 --> 00:51:46,931
>> OH... I GOT TO GO.

1014
00:51:52,626 --> 00:52:24,934
ALL RIGHT... ALL RIGHT.

1015
00:52:29,560 --> 00:52:30,802
DO YOU GUYS EVEN KNOW WHO

1016
00:52:30,802 --> 00:52:33,667
SAMUEL SORENSON ADAMS IS?

1017
00:52:33,667 --> 00:52:35,980
DO YOU? HE WAS THIS GUY WHO WAS

1018
00:52:35,980 --> 00:52:37,326
WORKING AS A SALESMAN FOR

1019
00:52:37,326 --> 00:52:39,432
A COAL TAR COMPANY WHEN HE CAME

1020
00:52:39,432 --> 00:52:41,296
UP WITH THE IDEA FOR CACHOO

1021
00:52:41,296 --> 00:52:43,263
SNEEZING POWDER.

1022
00:52:43,263 --> 00:52:44,264
A SNEEZING POWDER CRAZE

1023
00:52:44,264 --> 00:52:45,231
SWEPT THE COUNTRY.

1024
00:52:46,335 --> 00:52:48,268
WITHIN THREE MONTHS, HE HAD

1025
00:52:48,268 --> 00:52:51,789
SOLD OVER 70,000 JARS.

1026
00:52:51,789 --> 00:52:53,170
HE WENT ON TO INVENT CLASSICS

1027
00:52:53,170 --> 00:52:54,930
LIKE BUG IN THE ICE CUBE,

1028
00:52:54,930 --> 00:52:56,103
THE SQUIRTING QUARTER,

1029
00:52:56,103 --> 00:52:57,760
THE EXPLODING CIGARETTE,

1030
00:52:57,760 --> 00:52:59,314
SNAKE IN A CAN, AND OF COURSE,

1031
00:52:59,314 --> 00:53:01,454
THE SUPER JOY BUZZER.

1032
00:53:03,180 --> 00:53:05,734
SAM ADAMS IS CONSIDERED THE

1033
00:53:05,734 --> 00:53:07,770
GRANDFATHER OF NOVELTY, AND HE

1034
00:53:07,770 --> 00:53:09,841
WAS SO SUCCESSFUL, HE DIDN'T

1035
00:53:09,841 --> 00:53:11,636
HAVE TO CUT A SINGLE SALARY

1036
00:53:11,636 --> 00:53:14,052
EVEN DURING THE ENTIRE GREAT

1037
00:53:14,052 --> 00:53:16,123
DEPRESSION.

1038
00:53:16,123 --> 00:53:17,021
YOU KNOW WHY?

1039
00:53:17,677 --> 00:53:18,747
BECAUSE ALL OF HIS IDEAS

1040
00:53:18,747 --> 00:53:19,610
WERE RECESSION-PROOF,

1041
00:53:19,610 --> 00:53:21,750
THAT'S WHY.

1042
00:53:21,750 --> 00:53:23,165
...HEY, MAGNUS.

1043
00:53:23,165 --> 00:53:24,684
>> If I set up a meeting, well,

1044
00:53:24,684 --> 00:53:26,203
you sure as shit better show up.

1045
00:53:26,203 --> 00:53:27,273
Joe Friedman is livid!

1046
00:53:27,273 --> 00:53:28,412
He's been waiting for you

1047
00:53:28,412 --> 00:53:29,344
all day.

1048
00:53:29,344 --> 00:53:30,552
Have you any idea what an

1049
00:53:30,552 --> 00:53:31,760
asshole he is when he's pissed?

1050
00:53:31,760 --> 00:53:32,761
>> MAGNUS, I'VE BEEN TRYING TO

1051
00:53:32,761 --> 00:53:34,176
GET AHOLD OF YOU ALL DAY LONG,

1052
00:53:34,176 --> 00:53:34,797
AND I COULDN?T--

1053
00:53:34,797 --> 00:53:36,005
>> Just meet me at the Yesterday

1054
00:53:36,005 --> 00:53:37,421
Pub in 30 minutes with the keys

1055
00:53:37,421 --> 00:53:38,249
to my client apartment.

1056
00:53:38,249 --> 00:53:39,492
I am done dealing with you.

1057
00:53:39,492 --> 00:53:40,251
You're an amateur.

1058
00:53:40,251 --> 00:53:41,804
>> MAGNUS. MAGNUS! HELLO?

1059
00:53:41,804 --> 00:53:46,947
HELLO? MAGNUS!

1060
00:54:02,756 --> 00:54:04,620
MAGNUS! WHAT'S WRONG?

1061
00:54:04,620 --> 00:54:05,690
>> I'VE GOT A MIGRAINE.

1062
00:54:05,690 --> 00:54:06,415
THAT'S WHAT'S WRONG.

1063
00:54:06,415 --> 00:54:07,692
>> MAGNUS, I THINK YOU PUT ME

1064
00:54:07,692 --> 00:54:08,590
ON THE WRONG TRAIN.

1065
00:54:08,590 --> 00:54:10,247
I GOT ON THE TRAIN YOU TOLD ME--

1066
00:54:10,247 --> 00:54:11,282
>> BULLSHIT! I'VE WORKED HARD.

1067
00:54:11,282 --> 00:54:12,559
I'VE WORKED VERY HARD FOR THOSE

1068
00:54:12,559 --> 00:54:13,560
MANUFACTURING CONTACTS, AND I'M

1069
00:54:13,560 --> 00:54:14,872
NOT HAVING 'EM STUFFED UP BY

1070
00:54:14,872 --> 00:54:15,666
SOME BRIC-A-BRAC PUSHER.

1071
00:54:15,666 --> 00:54:16,391
>> THIS IS ABSURD.

1072
00:54:16,391 --> 00:54:17,426
I WOULD NEVER DO ANYTHING--

1073
00:54:17,426 --> 00:54:18,462
>> YOU HAVE PUT IN JEOPARDY

1074
00:54:18,462 --> 00:54:19,670
A MUCH LARGER DEAL I WAS

1075
00:54:19,670 --> 00:54:20,567
WORKING ON WITH THOSE

1076
00:54:20,567 --> 00:54:21,327
MANUFACTURING CONTACTS.

1077
00:54:21,327 --> 00:54:22,328
>> I TRIED CALLING ALL DAY,

1078
00:54:22,328 --> 00:54:23,501
AND I-- >> LOWER YOUR VOICE!

1079
00:54:23,501 --> 00:54:25,710
I TOLD YOU, I GOT A HEADACHE.

1080
00:54:25,710 --> 00:54:27,505
MAGNUS, I TRIED

1081
00:54:27,505 --> 00:54:29,024
CALLING ALL DAY, AND I COULDN?T

1082
00:54:29,024 --> 00:54:30,128
GET THROUGH, O.K.?

1083
00:54:30,128 --> 00:54:31,129
>> PROBABLY BECAUSE JOE FRIEDMAN

1084
00:54:31,129 --> 00:54:32,579
WAS UP MY ASS ALL DAY LONG

1085
00:54:32,579 --> 00:54:33,925
LOOKING FOR YOU!

1086
00:54:33,925 --> 00:54:35,202
NOW, GIVE ME THE KEYS.

1087
00:54:35,202 --> 00:54:36,514
YOU ARE NO LONGER A CLIENT

1088
00:54:36,514 --> 00:54:37,757
OF MINE.

1089
00:54:37,757 --> 00:54:38,930
ARE YOU SURE

1090
00:54:38,930 --> 00:54:40,553
ABOUT THIS? >> YES, I AM.

1091
00:54:40,553 --> 00:54:42,140
YES, I AM.

1092
00:54:45,005 --> 00:54:46,352
GOD, MY HEAD!

1093
00:54:46,352 --> 00:54:50,252
WHERE ARE THOSE PAINKILLERS?

1094
00:54:50,252 --> 00:54:53,290
>> I NEED MY MONEY BACK.

1095
00:54:53,290 --> 00:54:54,567
>> NO, THAT MONEY'S GONE,

1096
00:54:54,567 --> 00:54:55,809
JOHNSON.

1097
00:54:55,809 --> 00:55:01,298
WHERE ARE MY PAINKILLERS?

1098
00:55:01,298 --> 00:55:02,299
HAVE YOU GOT MY PAINKILLERS?

1099
00:55:02,299 --> 00:55:03,300
>> THEN HOW AM I GONNA

1100
00:55:03,300 --> 00:55:04,093
MANUFACTURE MY PRODUCT?

1101
00:55:04,093 --> 00:55:05,129
>> I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR

1102
00:55:05,129 --> 00:55:07,304
PRODUCT, JOHNSON.

1103
00:55:11,653 --> 00:55:14,794
I'M GONNA BE SICK.

1104
00:55:19,488 --> 00:55:20,489
>> I TRIED CALLING ALL DAY.

1105
00:55:20,489 --> 00:55:22,526
>> GIVE THE KEYS!

1106
00:55:22,526 --> 00:55:23,320
>> I KNOW.

1107
00:55:23,320 --> 00:55:24,424
I KNOW, O.K.?

1108
00:55:24,424 --> 00:55:26,081
CAN I PLEASE GO BACK AND PACK UP

1109
00:55:26,081 --> 00:55:27,082
MY THINGS?

1110
00:55:27,082 --> 00:55:28,497
>> WE PACK.

1111
00:55:28,497 --> 00:55:29,843
GIVE ME THE KEYS!

1112
00:55:29,843 --> 00:55:31,742
>> OLIVE, MAYBE YOU CAN TALK TO

1113
00:55:31,742 --> 00:55:34,400
MAGNUS.

1114
00:55:34,400 --> 00:55:36,505
ALL I NEED IS A MANUFACTURING

1115
00:55:36,505 --> 00:55:38,645
CONTACT, THAT IS IT!

1116
00:55:38,645 --> 00:55:42,062
CONTACT, THAT IS IT!
DO YOU UNDERSTAND?

1117
00:55:42,062 --> 00:56:02,324
DO YOU UNDERSTAND?

1118
00:56:02,324 --> 00:56:04,395
MR. CHOI, ANSWER, YOU FRIGGIN'

1119
00:56:04,395 --> 00:56:11,471
ASS-WIPE.

1120
00:57:48,292 --> 00:57:53,953
>> MY IDEA IS A NECESSITY.

1121
00:57:53,953 --> 00:57:56,231
AND THAT'S THE DIFFERENCE.

1122
00:57:56,231 --> 00:57:57,543
THAT'S THE HOOK.

1123
00:57:57,543 --> 00:57:59,337
YOU THINK IT'S A JOKE TILL YOU

1124
00:57:59,337 --> 00:58:00,925
ACTUALLY CONSIDER IT, THAT

1125
00:58:00,925 --> 00:58:03,997
EVERYWHERE, EVERYONE--

1126
00:58:03,997 --> 00:58:06,310
THAT EVERYONE EVERYWHERE WILL

1127
00:58:06,310 --> 00:58:09,140
WANT ONE, AND IT, IT'S BOTH

1128
00:58:09,140 --> 00:58:12,281
NOVEL, NEEDFUL, NOVEL-FULL,

1129
00:58:12,281 --> 00:58:14,456
AND THEREIN LIES ITS GINORMOUS

1130
00:58:14,456 --> 00:58:16,769
POTENTIAL FOR PROFIT.

1131
00:58:16,769 --> 00:58:19,634
>> GINORMOUS, RIGHT, RIGHT, O.K.

1132
00:58:19,634 --> 00:58:21,049
>> GOOD, SO I CAN COUNT ON MY

1133
00:58:21,049 --> 00:58:24,880
BANK FOR THE LOAN?

1134
00:58:24,880 --> 00:58:26,157
>>

1135
00:58:26,157 --> 00:58:30,058
NO, JOHNSON, NO.

1136
00:58:30,058 --> 00:58:33,889
>> REALLY?

1137
00:58:33,889 --> 00:58:36,064
I SEE.

1138
00:58:36,064 --> 00:58:38,860
I SEE, O.K.

1139
00:58:38,860 --> 00:58:41,069
WELL, I THINK YOU'RE MISSING OUT

1140
00:58:41,069 --> 00:58:43,312
ON AN INCREDIBLY EXCITING

1141
00:58:43,312 --> 00:58:46,108
OPPORTUNITY.

1142
00:58:46,108 --> 00:58:47,662
>> RIGHT, O.K.

1143
00:58:47,662 --> 00:58:49,526
SO, WE'RE DONE HERE.

1144
00:58:49,526 --> 00:58:51,942
TELL YOUR SISTER I SAID HELLO.

1145
00:58:51,942 --> 00:58:54,772
AUGH!

1146
00:59:05,680 --> 00:59:06,681
WHAT ARE YOU GONNA

1147
00:59:06,681 --> 00:59:08,165
DO, HUH?

1148
00:59:09,546 --> 00:59:11,513
WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO?

1149
00:59:11,513 --> 00:59:12,894
LIVE WITH YOUR MOM FOR THE REST

1150
00:59:12,894 --> 00:59:14,240
OF YOUR LIFE?

1151
00:59:14,240 --> 00:59:16,725
GO WORK FOR SOME JERK?

1152
00:59:16,725 --> 00:59:19,590
NO, NO WAY.

1153
00:59:19,590 --> 00:59:22,213
LOOK, YOU HAVE VISION.

1154
00:59:22,213 --> 00:59:27,287
YOU HAVE... NICENESS.

1155
00:59:27,287 --> 00:59:32,914
CREATIVITY.

1156
00:59:32,914 --> 00:59:34,916
JOHNSON, JUST KEEP YOUR EYE ON

1157
00:59:34,916 --> 00:59:36,227
THE PRIZE.

1158
00:59:36,227 --> 00:59:37,643
THE PRIZE.
EYE ON THE PRIZE.

1159
00:59:37,643 --> 00:59:46,617
EYE ON THE PRIZE.

1160
00:59:46,617 --> 00:59:48,239
UH, I LIKE TO CLOSE MY ACCOUNT,

1161
00:59:48,239 --> 00:59:48,930
PLEASE.

1162
00:59:48,930 --> 00:59:50,690
PLEASE.
O.K.

1163
00:59:50,690 --> 01:00:00,907
O.K.

1164
01:00:00,907 --> 01:00:02,115
And how would you like that,

1165
01:00:02,115 --> 01:00:03,530
sir?

1166
01:00:03,530 --> 01:00:05,222
>> HUNDREDS, PLEASE.

1167
01:00:05,222 --> 01:00:07,465
>> HUNDREDS, PLEASE.
>> Sure, one second.

1168
01:00:07,465 --> 01:00:17,475
>> Sure, one second.

1169
01:00:27,347 --> 01:00:28,763
BACK IN SHANGHAI,

1170
01:00:28,763 --> 01:00:29,453
BABY.

1171
01:00:29,453 --> 01:00:31,766
>> I KNOW, YOU READY TO GO OUT?

1172
01:00:31,766 --> 01:00:33,112
I'M EXHAUSTED.

1173
01:00:33,112 --> 01:00:34,458
>> UGH, SO WHAT'S UP WITH

1174
01:00:34,458 --> 01:00:35,493
CAPTAIN STUBEY?

1175
01:00:35,493 --> 01:00:36,702
HE'S, LIKE, OBSESSED WITH YOU.

1176
01:00:36,702 --> 01:00:37,703
>> THE MAN IS A PIG.

1177
01:00:37,703 --> 01:00:38,876
CAN YOU IMAGINE BEING MARRIED

1178
01:00:38,876 --> 01:00:40,947
TO HIM? HE'S DISGUSTING.

1179
01:00:40,947 --> 01:00:42,362
AND WHAT WAS UP WITH THAT GUY

1180
01:00:42,362 --> 01:00:43,847
IN 1-A, IS THAT GUY THAT, UM...

1181
01:00:43,847 --> 01:00:45,987
>> SLEPT WITH SUE?

1182
01:00:48,299 --> 01:00:49,128
>> WHOA, WHOA, DID MAGNUS

1183
01:00:49,128 --> 01:00:49,784
SEND YOU?

1184
01:00:49,784 --> 01:00:51,061
>> STAND DOWN!

1185
01:00:51,061 --> 01:00:52,269
>> I'M NOT GIVING YOU ANY MORE

1186
01:00:52,269 --> 01:00:52,856
MONEY.

1187
01:00:52,856 --> 01:00:53,891
GO!

1188
01:00:57,584 --> 01:00:58,137
>> GOT HIM?

1189
01:00:58,137 --> 01:01:03,487
>> GET THE KNIFE, IT'S IN THERE!

1190
01:01:09,596 --> 01:01:11,322
>> HE'S OUT.

1191
01:01:11,322 --> 01:01:12,669
DO YOU KNOW THIS GUY?

1192
01:01:12,669 --> 01:01:13,842
>> NO, NO IDEA.

1193
01:01:13,842 --> 01:01:14,912
WHAT'S HE DOING IN OUR

1194
01:01:14,912 --> 01:01:15,533
APARTMENT?

1195
01:01:15,533 --> 01:01:17,328
>> I DON'T KNOW.

1196
01:01:17,328 --> 01:01:18,329
>> WE HAVE ABOUT THREE SECONDS.

1197
01:01:18,329 --> 01:01:18,916
YOU READY?

1198
01:01:18,916 --> 01:01:23,162
>> YOU READY?

1199
01:01:23,162 --> 01:01:24,059
>>

1200
01:01:26,372 --> 01:01:27,580
>> WHO ARE YOU, WHAT ARE YOU

1201
01:01:27,580 --> 01:01:29,202
DOING IN OUR APARTMENT?

1202
01:01:29,202 --> 01:01:30,514
>> MAGNUS GAVE ME THE KEYS.

1203
01:01:30,514 --> 01:01:31,688
MAGNUS TOLD ME I COULD STAY

1204
01:01:31,688 --> 01:01:32,309
HERE.

1205
01:01:32,309 --> 01:01:32,896
>> WHAT KEYS?

1206
01:01:32,896 --> 01:01:34,829
>> WHO'S MAGNUS?

1207
01:01:34,829 --> 01:01:35,830
>> THE KEYS THAT ARE IN

1208
01:01:35,830 --> 01:01:36,554
MY POCKET.

1209
01:01:36,554 --> 01:01:37,624
MAY I PLEASE HAVE PERMISSION

1210
01:01:37,624 --> 01:01:39,488
TO RETRIEVE THEM?

1211
01:01:39,488 --> 01:01:42,215
>> MOVE SLOWLY.

1212
01:01:42,215 --> 01:01:43,354
>> YOU'RE PRESSING THAT UMBRELLA

1213
01:01:43,354 --> 01:01:44,735
AT A VERY VITAL VEIN.

1214
01:01:44,735 --> 01:01:47,842
>> SHUT UP!

1215
01:01:47,842 --> 01:01:49,050
>> I GUESS THEY'RE NOT IN MY

1216
01:01:49,050 --> 01:01:50,948
POCKET.

1217
01:01:50,948 --> 01:01:52,363
THEY MUST BE IN MY SHIN POCKET.

1218
01:01:52,363 --> 01:01:54,434
CHECK MY SHIN POCKET.

1219
01:01:54,434 --> 01:01:57,127
>> CHECK HIS SHINS.

1220
01:01:58,300 --> 01:01:59,094
>>

1221
01:02:00,095 --> 01:02:01,579
WHAT'D YOU DO THAT FOR?

1222
01:02:01,579 --> 01:02:02,580
YOU COULD'VE SIMPLY LIFTED

1223
01:02:02,580 --> 01:02:03,512
MY PANT LEG!

1224
01:02:03,512 --> 01:02:06,343
>> SHUT UP!

1225
01:02:10,347 --> 01:02:12,349
>> THESE ARE OUR HOUSEKEEPER'S

1226
01:02:12,349 --> 01:02:13,730
KEYS.

1227
01:02:13,730 --> 01:02:14,972
>> AT LEAST CAN YOU TELL ME

1228
01:02:14,972 --> 01:02:16,905
WHERE THE HOUSEKEEPER LIVES?

1229
01:02:19,080 --> 01:02:20,633
...THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN

1230
01:02:20,633 --> 01:02:22,393
CON TRICKS AND PRACTICAL JOKES

1231
01:02:22,393 --> 01:02:23,981
CAN BE VERY BLURRED.

1232
01:02:25,672 --> 01:02:27,191
BOTH ARE HAD AT SOMEONE'S

1233
01:02:27,191 --> 01:02:28,745
EXPENSE AND BOTH REQUIRE

1234
01:02:28,745 --> 01:02:30,747
DECEPTION.

1235
01:02:30,747 --> 01:02:32,507
BUT HERE'S THE DIFFERENCE.

1236
01:02:32,507 --> 01:02:34,751
THE PRACTICAL JOKE IS ALL ABOUT

1237
01:02:34,751 --> 01:02:37,546
THE REVEAL, LIKE...

1238
01:02:37,546 --> 01:02:38,996
>> YOU LOSE ME MY JOB!

1239
01:02:38,996 --> 01:02:39,997
THE PLASTIC COOKIE

1240
01:02:39,997 --> 01:02:41,585
MUST BE BITTEN.

1241
01:02:41,585 --> 01:02:42,655
THE SQUIRTING FLOWER MUST

1242
01:02:42,655 --> 01:02:44,139
SQUIRT.

1243
01:02:44,139 --> 01:02:45,313
THE WHOOPEE CUSHION MUST BE

1244
01:02:45,313 --> 01:02:47,246
SAT ON.

1245
01:02:47,246 --> 01:02:49,075
THE JOKE MUST BE REVEALED FOR

1246
01:02:49,075 --> 01:02:55,323
HILARITY TO ENSUE.

1247
01:02:55,323 --> 01:02:57,877
AND THEREIN LIES THE DIFFERENCE

1248
01:02:57,877 --> 01:03:02,744
BETWEEN CON AND PRANK.

1249
01:03:02,744 --> 01:03:05,195
THE SUCCESSFUL CON TRICK MUST

1250
01:03:05,195 --> 01:03:07,922
REMAIN UNDETECTED AT ALL TIMES,

1251
01:03:07,922 --> 01:03:10,476
NO MATTER WHAT, FOR IT TO WORK.

1252
01:03:10,476 --> 01:03:12,236
THERE IS NO REVEAL,

1253
01:03:12,236 --> 01:03:14,135
HILARITY DOES NOT ENSUE.

1254
01:03:14,135 --> 01:03:15,619
WHAT?

1255
01:03:15,619 --> 01:03:18,967
OH, HONEY.

1256
01:03:18,967 --> 01:03:20,175
>> OLIVE, DO WE HAVE TO GO

1257
01:03:20,175 --> 01:03:22,005
THROUGH THIS EVERY TIME?

1258
01:03:24,524 --> 01:03:25,560
>> WHERE'S MY MONEY, MAGNUS?

1259
01:03:27,734 --> 01:03:29,909
>> WHERE IS MY MONEY?

1260
01:03:39,885 --> 01:03:41,093
YOU'RE NOT GETTING OUT OF HERE,

1261
01:03:41,093 --> 01:03:41,783
MAGNUS.

1262
01:03:41,783 --> 01:03:42,957
YOU'RE NOT GETTING OUT OF HERE

1263
01:03:42,957 --> 01:03:46,615
UNTIL I GET MY MONEY.

1264
01:03:46,615 --> 01:03:48,894
I'M NOT GONNA LET YOU SCREW ME.

1265
01:03:48,894 --> 01:03:50,896
THAT'S MY HARD-EARNED MONEY.

1266
01:03:50,896 --> 01:03:51,897
DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT THAT

1267
01:03:51,897 --> 01:03:52,587
MEANS?

1268
01:03:52,587 --> 01:03:53,657
DO YOU?

1269
01:03:53,657 --> 01:03:55,590
>> LOWER YOUR VOICE, PLEASE.

1270
01:03:55,590 --> 01:03:58,765
MY HEAD.

1271
01:03:58,765 --> 01:04:03,563
>> YOU ARE VERY BAD PERSON!

1272
01:04:03,563 --> 01:04:10,708
>> I'M NOT A BAD PERSON.

1273
01:04:10,708 --> 01:04:12,020
>> RICKY RED?

1274
01:04:12,020 --> 01:04:13,884
RICKY RED?

1275
01:04:13,884 --> 01:04:16,024
>> RICKY RED?

1276
01:04:16,024 --> 01:04:16,680
HELLO.

1277
01:04:16,680 --> 01:04:17,508
HI, THERE.

1278
01:04:17,508 --> 01:04:18,475
ALL RIGHT.

1279
01:04:18,475 --> 01:04:19,856
SO, HAVE YOU, UM,

1280
01:04:19,856 --> 01:04:20,718
HAVE YOU PREPARED SOMETHING

1281
01:04:20,718 --> 01:04:21,409
FOR US?

1282
01:04:21,409 --> 01:04:22,859
YEAH, YEAH, I HAVE.

1283
01:04:22,859 --> 01:04:23,998
O.K., GREAT.

1284
01:04:23,998 --> 01:04:26,207
WHENEVER YOU'RE READY.

1285
01:04:26,207 --> 01:04:28,761
>> ALL RIGHT, THEN.

1286
01:04:28,761 --> 01:04:31,350
THERE, ALL RIGHT.

1287
01:04:31,350 --> 01:04:39,289
ALL RIGHT.

1288
01:06:30,089 --> 01:06:31,366
SCENE.

1289
01:06:31,366 --> 01:06:32,919
WOW.

1290
01:06:32,919 --> 01:06:34,473
THAT WAS REALLY GOOD.

1291
01:06:34,473 --> 01:06:35,405
>> YEAH?

1292
01:06:35,405 --> 01:06:36,371
THAT WAS... INTERESTING.

1293
01:06:36,371 --> 01:06:37,579
WOW.

1294
01:06:37,579 --> 01:06:38,580
>> WELL, THANK YOU, THAT REALLY

1295
01:06:38,580 --> 01:06:40,203
MEANS A LOT TO ME.

1296
01:06:40,203 --> 01:06:41,998
WOW, UM, O.K., COULD

1297
01:06:41,998 --> 01:06:43,447
YOU SHOW US YOUR TEETH?

1298
01:06:43,447 --> 01:06:46,036
LIKE, GIVE US A BIG SMILE.

1299
01:06:46,036 --> 01:06:47,313
>> I DON'T REALLY SHOW MY TEETH

1300
01:06:47,313 --> 01:06:48,452
WHEN I SMILE.

1301
01:06:48,452 --> 01:06:49,453
RIGHT, IT'S JUST THAT

1302
01:06:49,453 --> 01:06:50,454
THIS CHARACTER BITES SOMEONE,

1303
01:06:50,454 --> 01:06:52,077
SO WE KIND OF NEED TO SEE YOUR

1304
01:06:52,077 --> 01:06:52,698
TEETH.

1305
01:06:52,698 --> 01:06:56,564
>> ALL RIGHT.

1306
01:06:56,564 --> 01:07:00,533
UM, UM, O.K., O.K.

1307
01:07:00,533 --> 01:07:02,225
UH, AND HAVE YOU READ THE PART?

1308
01:07:02,225 --> 01:07:03,053
ARE YOU FAMILIAR WITH

1309
01:07:03,053 --> 01:07:04,020
THE SCRIPT?

1310
01:07:04,020 --> 01:07:05,228
>> YEAH, I HAVE.

1311
01:07:05,228 --> 01:07:06,229
I REALLY LIKE THE PART,

1312
01:07:06,229 --> 01:07:06,850
ACTUALLY.

1313
01:07:06,850 --> 01:07:07,678
I'VE ALWAYS BEEN PLAYING

1314
01:07:07,678 --> 01:07:08,955
BUSINESSMEN AND I REALLY RELISH

1315
01:07:08,955 --> 01:07:11,027
THE CHANCE OF PLAYING A VILLAIN.

1316
01:07:11,027 --> 01:07:12,718
UH, O.K., WELL, IT'S,

1317
01:07:12,718 --> 01:07:14,616
IT'S, ACTUALLY, THE, THE VILLAIN

1318
01:07:14,616 --> 01:07:15,997
PART'S FOR SOMEONE A BIT

1319
01:07:15,997 --> 01:07:16,998
YOUNGER.

1320
01:07:16,998 --> 01:07:18,034
AND WE ACTUALLY BROUGHT

1321
01:07:18,034 --> 01:07:20,139
YOU IN FOR THE BUSINESSMAN

1322
01:07:20,139 --> 01:07:20,760
CHARACTER.

1323
01:07:20,760 --> 01:07:21,727
YEAH, TO PLAY

1324
01:07:21,727 --> 01:07:22,728
THE BUSINESSMAN.

1325
01:07:22,728 --> 01:07:24,109
>> I LOOK A LITTLE BIT-- I LOOK

1326
01:07:24,109 --> 01:07:25,800
A LOT YOUNGER WITHOUT THE BEARD.

1327
01:07:25,800 --> 01:07:27,215
O.K.

1328
01:07:27,215 --> 01:07:33,704
UM, HMM.

1329
01:07:33,704 --> 01:07:37,708
O.K.

1330
01:07:37,708 --> 01:07:38,916
WELL, THANKS, THANKS FOR,

1331
01:07:38,916 --> 01:07:40,677
THANKS FOR COMING IN, THANK YOU.

1332
01:07:40,677 --> 01:07:41,678
>> A PLEASURE.

1333
01:07:41,678 --> 01:07:43,266
O.K., GREAT.

1334
01:07:43,266 --> 01:07:44,991
>> ALL RIGHT, YEAH, O.K.

1335
01:07:44,991 --> 01:07:45,992
HAVE A GOOD DAY.

1336
01:07:45,992 --> 01:07:46,821
>> THANKS A LOT, YEAH.

1337
01:07:46,821 --> 01:07:49,996
THANKS.

1338
01:08:31,452 --> 01:08:33,970
>> Magnus: ...10:30.

1339
01:08:33,970 --> 01:08:36,422
YEAH, THAT'S GREAT.

1340
01:08:36,422 --> 01:08:38,804
I REALLY APPRECIATE THAT.

1341
01:08:38,804 --> 01:08:41,047
THANKS.

1342
01:08:45,292 --> 01:08:46,812
GET UP.

1343
01:08:46,812 --> 01:08:50,160
HERE.

1344
01:08:50,160 --> 01:08:51,575
I JUST GOT YOU A MEETING WITH

1345
01:08:51,575 --> 01:08:52,404
SHANGHAI PLASTIC MOLDINGS

1346
01:08:52,404 --> 01:08:53,612
IN AN HOUR'S TIME, YOU BETTER

1347
01:08:53,612 --> 01:08:55,648
GET READY.

1348
01:08:55,648 --> 01:08:56,856
I SHOULD'VE DONE THIS WHEN I

1349
01:08:56,856 --> 01:08:59,237
FIRST MET YOU.

1350
01:08:59,237 --> 01:09:02,585
I'M NOT PROUD OF WHAT I'VE DONE.

1351
01:09:02,585 --> 01:09:05,002
>> YEAH, RIGHT.

1352
01:09:05,002 --> 01:09:09,145
>> WHAT, YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME?

1353
01:09:09,145 --> 01:09:10,698
RING 'EM.

1354
01:09:10,698 --> 01:09:14,702
IT'S GENUINE.

1355
01:09:16,566 --> 01:09:19,533
CRUSH MY NUTS IF I'M LYING.

1356
01:09:19,533 --> 01:09:20,742
>> YOU BETTER NOT BE JERKING ME

1357
01:09:20,742 --> 01:09:23,055
>> YOU BETTER NOT BE JERKING ME
AROUND.

1358
01:09:23,055 --> 01:09:31,753
AROUND.

1359
01:09:31,753 --> 01:09:37,690
WHERE'S MY SEWING KIT?

1360
01:09:37,690 --> 01:09:39,071
HOLD ON.

1361
01:09:39,071 --> 01:09:41,038
SHANGHAI PLASTIC MOLDINGS?

1362
01:09:41,038 --> 01:09:42,868
I TOLD YOU, MY PRODUCT IS

1363
01:09:42,868 --> 01:09:44,145
A TEXTILE PRODUCT.

1364
01:09:44,145 --> 01:09:46,423
WHAT USE IS A PLASTIC MOLDINGS

1365
01:09:46,423 --> 01:09:48,287
COMPANY, HUH?

1366
01:09:48,287 --> 01:09:50,219
>> RELAX.

1367
01:09:50,219 --> 01:09:51,428
PLASTIC MOLDING'S JUST WHAT THEY

1368
01:09:51,428 --> 01:09:53,948
STARTED WITH BACK IN THE '70S.

1369
01:09:53,948 --> 01:09:54,949
THEY'LL MAKE ANYTHING FOR YOU

1370
01:09:54,949 --> 01:09:58,055
NOW.

1371
01:09:58,055 --> 01:09:58,884
ALTHOUGH THEY STILL ARE

1372
01:09:58,884 --> 01:10:00,196
SHANGHAI'S PREMIUM MARITAL AID

1373
01:10:00,196 --> 01:10:02,750
MANUFACTURERS.

1374
01:10:02,750 --> 01:10:03,820
>> MARITAL AIDS?

1375
01:10:03,820 --> 01:10:06,271
>> YEAH, DILDOS, BUTT PLUGS,

1376
01:10:06,271 --> 01:10:07,617
RUBBER TWATS, THAT KIND OF

1377
01:10:07,617 --> 01:10:10,240
THING.

1378
01:10:18,386 --> 01:10:21,009
>> WHAT'S THAT SMELL?

1379
01:10:24,943 --> 01:10:27,809
WHAT'S THAT SMELL?

1380
01:10:27,809 --> 01:10:29,017
>> IT'S THE SMELL OF MY FINE

1381
01:10:29,017 --> 01:10:30,329
TOBACCO, JOHNSON.

1382
01:10:30,329 --> 01:10:32,262
>> THAT'S NOT TOBACCO, MAGNUS.

1383
01:10:32,262 --> 01:10:33,850
THAT'S ILLEGAL.

1384
01:10:33,850 --> 01:10:34,851
YOU SHOULD SERIOUSLY PUT THAT

1385
01:10:34,851 --> 01:10:35,921
OUT, WE COULD GET SERIOUSLY

1386
01:10:35,921 --> 01:10:42,755
BUSTED.

1387
01:10:42,755 --> 01:10:46,380
>>

1388
01:10:46,380 --> 01:10:49,003
>> MAGNUS...

1389
01:10:49,003 --> 01:10:50,004
IS THAT WHAT YOU'VE BEEN

1390
01:10:50,004 --> 01:10:53,456
SPENDING MY MONEY ON?

1391
01:10:53,456 --> 01:10:54,733
>>

1392
01:10:54,733 --> 01:10:58,943
>> IT IS, ISN'T IT?

1393
01:10:58,943 --> 01:11:01,326
HOW MUCH IS LEFT?

1394
01:11:01,326 --> 01:11:05,537
>> LET ME SEE.

1395
01:11:05,537 --> 01:11:06,779
NONE.

1396
01:11:06,779 --> 01:11:08,919
>> IS THAT SOME KIND OF JOKE?

1397
01:11:08,919 --> 01:11:09,920
COME ON, MAGNUS, WHERE IS

1398
01:11:09,920 --> 01:11:13,061
MY MONEY?

1399
01:11:13,061 --> 01:11:14,270
>> I WIRED IT TO A POLISH

1400
01:11:14,270 --> 01:11:15,719
DENTIST.

1401
01:11:15,719 --> 01:11:17,202
I'M HAVING NEW TEETH MADE FOR

1402
01:11:17,202 --> 01:11:20,034
OLIVE AND ME.

1403
01:11:20,034 --> 01:11:25,210
>> WHAT?

1404
01:11:25,210 --> 01:11:26,627
>> POLISH DENTISTS HAVE THE BEST

1405
01:11:26,627 --> 01:11:28,800
PRICES RIGHT NOW.

1406
01:11:28,800 --> 01:11:32,218
PRICES RIGHT NOW.
I DON'T KNOW WHY.

1407
01:11:32,218 --> 01:11:38,432
I DON'T KNOW WHY.

1408
01:11:38,432 --> 01:11:39,880
>> HOW CAN YOU SERIOUSLY LIVE

1409
01:11:39,880 --> 01:11:41,675
LIKE THIS, MAGNUS?

1410
01:11:41,675 --> 01:11:44,230
HAVE YOU NO SELF-RESPECT?

1411
01:11:44,230 --> 01:11:46,025
YOU, I MEAN, YOU ARE A CON

1412
01:11:46,025 --> 01:11:46,716
ARTIST!

1413
01:11:46,716 --> 01:11:48,200
>>

1414
01:11:48,200 --> 01:11:49,995
PASS US THAT COFFEE.

1415
01:11:53,309 --> 01:11:54,309
>> WHAT GOOD IS THAT GONNA

1416
01:11:54,309 --> 01:11:54,896
DO YOU?

1417
01:11:54,896 --> 01:11:56,242
>> IT'S MY THROAT.

1418
01:11:56,242 --> 01:11:57,623
COFFEE.

1419
01:11:57,623 --> 01:11:59,004
>> YOU KNOW WHAT?

1420
01:11:59,004 --> 01:12:03,008
YOU SERIOUSLY DISGUST ME.

1421
01:12:03,008 --> 01:12:05,700
>> GOD, IT'S MY THROAT.

1422
01:12:05,700 --> 01:12:07,046
>> JUST STRAIGHTEN YOURSELF OUT

1423
01:12:07,046 --> 01:12:08,565
BEFORE WE GO TO SHANGHAI PLASTIC

1424
01:12:08,565 --> 01:12:10,429
MOLDINGS, PLEASE.

1425
01:12:10,429 --> 01:12:12,638
>> I'M NOT COMING WITH YOU.

1426
01:12:12,638 --> 01:12:14,468
YOU'LL BE FINE.

1427
01:12:14,468 --> 01:12:16,159
MY HANDS HAVE GONE ALL TINGLY.

1428
01:12:16,159 --> 01:12:17,919
I FEEL REALLY WEIRD.

1429
01:12:17,919 --> 01:12:20,232
>> MAGNUS...

1430
01:12:20,232 --> 01:12:22,303
YOU'RE COMING WITH ME.

1431
01:12:22,303 --> 01:12:23,684
AND I'LL TELL YOU THE REASON WHY

1432
01:12:23,684 --> 01:12:25,099
YOU'RE COMING WITH ME.

1433
01:12:25,099 --> 01:12:27,722
BECAUSE "A," I DON'T TRUST YOU

1434
01:12:27,722 --> 01:12:29,137
FURTHER THAN I CAN THROW

1435
01:12:29,137 --> 01:12:32,244
A HIPPO, AND "B," YOU'RE GOING

1436
01:12:32,244 --> 01:12:33,590
TO PAY FOR MY PRODUCT.

1437
01:12:33,590 --> 01:12:35,799
>>

1438
01:12:35,799 --> 01:12:37,491
LISTEN, IF YOU WANT ME TO COME

1439
01:12:37,491 --> 01:12:39,527
WITH YOU, IT'S GONNA COST YOU

1440
01:12:39,527 --> 01:12:41,529
ANOTHER 500.

1441
01:12:41,529 --> 01:12:42,530
I'M REALLY RUNNING ON FUMES

1442
01:12:42,530 --> 01:12:43,531
HERE.

1443
01:12:43,531 --> 01:12:44,705
>> I'M NOT GIVING YOU ANOTHER

1444
01:12:44,705 --> 01:12:46,741
DIME.

1445
01:12:46,741 --> 01:12:47,984
>> I'M WORTH IT.

1446
01:12:47,984 --> 01:12:49,434
YOU'VE SEEN ME IN ACTION.

1447
01:12:49,434 --> 01:12:50,296
>> SERIOUSLY?

1448
01:12:50,296 --> 01:12:51,712
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?

1449
01:12:51,712 --> 01:12:53,990
>> I'M HYPOGLYCEMIC.

1450
01:12:53,990 --> 01:12:56,510
WHEN DID I LAST EAT?

1451
01:12:57,752 --> 01:13:02,481
NEED SOMETHING TO EAT.

1452
01:13:02,481 --> 01:13:03,137
WHAT ARE THESE?

1453
01:13:03,137 --> 01:13:05,001
YUMMY POTATO CHIPS?

1454
01:13:05,001 --> 01:13:06,416
>> YEP.

1455
01:13:06,416 --> 01:13:08,107
>> JESUS!

1456
01:13:21,258 --> 01:13:24,883
>> MAGNUS?

1457
01:13:24,883 --> 01:13:29,405
MAGNUS.

1458
01:13:29,405 --> 01:13:31,614
MAGNUS?

1459
01:13:31,614 --> 01:13:32,407
SPEAK.

1460
01:13:32,407 --> 01:13:33,925
SPEAK, MAGNUS.

1461
01:13:33,925 --> 01:13:35,996
MAGNUS, MAGNUS.

1462
01:13:35,996 --> 01:13:38,517
MAGNUS, SPEAK, SPEAK!

1463
01:13:38,517 --> 01:13:39,725
OH, MY GOD, HELP.

1464
01:13:39,725 --> 01:13:41,416
HELP, HELP!

1465
01:13:41,416 --> 01:13:42,832
MAGNUS?

1466
01:13:42,832 --> 01:13:47,768
SPEAK.

1467
01:13:47,768 --> 01:13:50,771
HELP.

1468
01:13:50,771 --> 01:13:52,151
HELP, HELP.

1469
01:13:52,151 --> 01:13:54,671
SOMEONE CALL 9-1-1.

1470
01:13:54,671 --> 01:13:56,052
HELLO, HELLO, IS ANYONE

1471
01:13:56,052 --> 01:13:57,053
IN HERE? HELLO?

1472
01:13:59,020 --> 01:14:00,228
LISTEN, LISTEN, THERE'S A MAN,

1473
01:14:00,228 --> 01:14:01,333
HE'S HAVING A SERIOUS HEART

1474
01:14:01,333 --> 01:14:02,782
CONDITION IN THERE, AND I NEED

1475
01:14:02,782 --> 01:14:03,439
YOUR HELP.

1476
01:14:03,439 --> 01:14:05,406
CAN YOU PLEASE CALL 9-1-1?

1477
01:14:07,960 --> 01:14:11,170
MAGNUS?

1478
01:14:11,170 --> 01:14:17,280
>>

1479
01:14:17,280 --> 01:14:22,561
>> OPEN THE DOOR, MAGNUS.

1480
01:14:22,561 --> 01:14:26,945
WHAT ABOUT MY PRODUCT?

1481
01:14:26,945 --> 01:14:31,605
WHAT ABOUT MY BAGS?

1482
01:14:31,605 --> 01:14:32,744
WHAT ABOUT MY PANTS?

1483
01:14:32,744 --> 01:14:33,745
GO BACK DOWN INTO

1484
01:14:33,745 --> 01:14:34,434
THE ALLEYWAY.

1485
01:14:34,434 --> 01:14:35,505
WHEN I SEE YOU'RE THERE,

1486
01:14:35,505 --> 01:14:38,646
I'LL PUT 'EM OUTSIDE THE DOOR.

1487
01:14:38,646 --> 01:14:39,647
>> NO, JUST OPEN THE DOOR

1488
01:14:39,647 --> 01:14:40,441
IMMEDIATELY.

1489
01:14:40,441 --> 01:14:44,721
DO IT.

1490
01:14:52,626 --> 01:14:55,282
>> THE MAN IN 308 IS A DRUGGIE.

1491
01:14:55,282 --> 01:14:59,115
>> THE MAN IN 308 IS A DRUGGIE.
HE'S A SERIOUS DRUG USER.

1492
01:14:59,115 --> 01:15:10,264
HE'S A SERIOUS DRUG USER.

1493
01:15:10,264 --> 01:15:12,577
YOU LOOKED AT MY PRODUCT.

1494
01:15:12,577 --> 01:15:13,198
YEAH.

1495
01:15:13,198 --> 01:15:18,824
YOU'RE AN IDIOT.

1496
01:15:18,824 --> 01:15:24,416
>> I AM NOT AN IDIOT.

1497
01:15:24,416 --> 01:15:28,834
WHERE ARE MY PANTS?

1498
01:15:28,834 --> 01:15:30,041
WHERE ARE MY OTHER PANTS THAT

1499
01:15:30,041 --> 01:15:32,320
WERE ON THE BACK OF THE SOFA?

1500
01:15:32,320 --> 01:15:34,771
WERE ON THE BACK OF THE SOFA?
WHERE ARE MY SHOES?

1501
01:15:34,771 --> 01:15:39,707
WHERE ARE MY SHOES?

1502
01:15:39,707 --> 01:15:42,952
WHERE ARE MY SHOES?
GOOD LUCK, JOHNSON.

1503
01:15:42,952 --> 01:15:53,618
GOOD LUCK, JOHNSON.

1504
01:15:56,379 --> 01:16:05,353
>>

1505
01:16:28,100 --> 01:16:28,722
LADIES AND

1506
01:16:28,722 --> 01:16:31,725
GENTLEMEN, I'M HERE TO TELL YOU

1507
01:16:31,725 --> 01:16:36,005
THAT BEHIND EVERY OBJECT IS

1508
01:16:36,005 --> 01:16:38,870
THAT BEHIND EVERY OBJECT IS
A HISTORY...

1509
01:16:38,870 --> 01:16:46,602
A HISTORY...

1510
01:16:46,602 --> 01:16:48,638
AND IN THAT HISTORY IS AN

1511
01:16:48,638 --> 01:16:52,780
INVENTOR...

1512
01:16:52,780 --> 01:17:00,857
LIKE ME.

1513
01:17:06,967 --> 01:17:08,037
>> MR. JOHNSON, THEY'RE READY

1514
01:17:08,037 --> 01:17:09,521
FOR YOU.

1515
01:17:09,521 --> 01:17:11,730
PLEASE FOLLOW ME.

1516
01:17:14,768 --> 01:17:26,124
THIS WAY.

1517
01:17:42,243 --> 01:17:49,665
>>

1518
01:17:53,184 --> 01:17:55,947
>> MR. JOHNSON, THIS IS MR. LEE,

1519
01:17:55,947 --> 01:17:58,362
MS. CHUNG AND MR. LUENG.

1520
01:17:58,362 --> 01:18:00,398
MR. LUENG IS THE QUALITY CONTROL

1521
01:18:00,398 --> 01:18:01,710
SUPERVISOR FOR ALL OF SHANGHAI

1522
01:18:01,710 --> 01:18:04,162
PLASTIC MOLDINGS.

1523
01:18:04,162 --> 01:18:05,957
>> NI HAO, NI HAO.

1524
01:18:05,957 --> 01:18:06,751
>>

1525
01:18:06,751 --> 01:18:07,612
"PLEASE SIT DOWN,"

1526
01:18:07,612 --> 01:18:09,995
"PLEASE SIT DOWN,"
HE SAYS.

1527
01:18:09,995 --> 01:18:15,207
HE SAYS.

1528
01:18:15,207 --> 01:18:16,208
THANKS VERY MUCH FOR

1529
01:18:16,208 --> 01:18:18,555
HAVING ME.

1530
01:18:18,555 --> 01:18:21,800
>>

1531
01:18:21,800 --> 01:18:23,215
MIGHT I SUGGEST, UH, YOU GET TO

1532
01:18:23,215 --> 01:18:23,871
THE POINT?

1533
01:18:23,871 --> 01:18:24,871
REGRETTABLY, YOU WERE AN HOUR

1534
01:18:24,871 --> 01:18:26,184
LATE, AND THESE PEOPLE ARE VERY

1535
01:18:26,184 --> 01:18:26,874
BUSY.

1536
01:18:26,874 --> 01:18:28,496
>> YES, YES, LOOK, I'M VERY

1537
01:18:28,496 --> 01:18:29,773
SORRY ABOUT THAT, I WAS HAVING

1538
01:18:29,773 --> 01:18:31,085
SERIOUS PANT ISSUES.

1539
01:18:31,085 --> 01:18:33,536
>>

1540
01:18:33,536 --> 01:18:34,779
>> EXCUSE ME, EXCUSE ME?

1541
01:18:34,779 --> 01:18:35,952
WILL YOU PLEASE NOT TRANSLATE

1542
01:18:35,952 --> 01:18:37,851
THAT BIT ABOUT THE PANTS?

1543
01:18:37,851 --> 01:18:38,644
>> NO, I WASN'T.

1544
01:18:38,644 --> 01:18:39,818
I WAS TELLING THEM THAT YOU'RE

1545
01:18:39,818 --> 01:18:41,577
HERE TO DISCUSS THE MANUFACTURE

1546
01:18:41,577 --> 01:18:44,133
OF A HUMOROUS TEXTILE PRODUCT

1547
01:18:44,133 --> 01:18:45,410
FOR THE ENGLISH-SPEAKING MARKET.

1548
01:18:45,410 --> 01:18:48,724
FOR THE ENGLISH-SPEAKING MARKET.
RIGHT, I AM.

1549
01:18:48,724 --> 01:18:57,629
RIGHT, I AM.

1550
01:18:57,629 --> 01:19:01,081
GENTLEMEN AND LADY.

1551
01:19:01,081 --> 01:19:04,153
I AM HERE BEFORE YOUR EYES

1552
01:19:04,153 --> 01:19:06,465
TO DISCUSS MY NOVELTY PRODUCT.

1553
01:19:06,465 --> 01:19:07,846
IT HAS ALL THE MAKINGS OF A

1554
01:19:07,846 --> 01:19:10,124
CULT CLASSIC.

1555
01:19:10,124 --> 01:19:11,436
IT'S BOTH HUMOROUS AND

1556
01:19:11,436 --> 01:19:12,851
PRACTICAL, IT WILL APPEAL TO

1557
01:19:12,851 --> 01:19:14,197
THE COLLEGE JOCK AND THE

1558
01:19:14,197 --> 01:19:15,267
CLEAN FREAK ALIKE.

1559
01:19:15,267 --> 01:19:17,028
AND, AS I LIKE TO SAY,

1560
01:19:17,028 --> 01:19:18,754
IT'S NOVEL AND NEEDFUL.

1561
01:19:18,754 --> 01:19:20,445
IT'S GOING TO REVOLUTIONIZE

1562
01:19:20,445 --> 01:19:21,204
THE ENTIRE...

1563
01:19:21,204 --> 01:19:22,585
>> MR. JOHNSON, YOU DON'T NEED

1564
01:19:22,585 --> 01:19:23,827
TO SELL THEM ANYTHING.

1565
01:19:23,827 --> 01:19:24,690
THEY'RE ACTUALLY NOT THAT

1566
01:19:24,690 --> 01:19:25,795
INTERESTED IN THE IDEA OR

1567
01:19:25,795 --> 01:19:26,657
THE MARKET.

1568
01:19:26,657 --> 01:19:27,832
JUST SHOW THEM WHAT IT IS

1569
01:19:27,832 --> 01:19:31,352
JUST SHOW THEM WHAT IT IS
YOU WANT THEM TO MAKE.

1570
01:19:31,352 --> 01:19:37,842
YOU WANT THEM TO MAKE.

1571
01:19:49,681 --> 01:19:53,616
>> GENTLEMEN AND LADY,

1572
01:19:53,616 --> 01:19:56,550
I PRESENT TO YOU...

1573
01:19:56,550 --> 01:20:00,934
THE ASS/FACE TOWEL.

1574
01:20:00,934 --> 01:20:02,210
NOT ONLY A NOVELTY ITEM,

1575
01:20:02,210 --> 01:20:03,557
BUT A VERY USEFUL ONE FOR

1576
01:20:03,557 --> 01:20:04,764
ANYONE WHO DOESN'T WANT TO WIPE

1577
01:20:04,764 --> 01:20:06,146
THEIR FACE WITH THE SAME SIDE OF

1578
01:20:06,146 --> 01:20:07,561
THE TOWEL THAT THEY USE TO WIPE

1579
01:20:07,561 --> 01:20:11,634
THEIR, UH... ASS.

1580
01:20:23,404 --> 01:20:24,681
>> DO THEY GET IT?

1581
01:20:24,681 --> 01:20:28,582
>> GET WHAT?

1582
01:20:28,582 --> 01:20:29,514
>> RIGHT.

1583
01:20:36,693 --> 01:20:38,109
>> UH, MS. CHUNG ASKS,

1584
01:20:38,109 --> 01:20:39,731
"HOW MANY UNITS?"

1585
01:20:39,731 --> 01:20:41,112
>> OH, ASK HOW MANY THEY CAN DO

1586
01:20:41,112 --> 01:20:46,911
FOR THIS...

1587
01:20:46,911 --> 01:20:50,915
AND...

1588
01:20:50,915 --> 01:20:52,123
THIS.

1589
01:20:52,123 --> 01:20:53,227
>> MR. JOHNSON, THIS ISN'T

1590
01:20:53,227 --> 01:20:54,850
A MOROCCAN BAZAAR.

1591
01:20:54,850 --> 01:20:56,023
THESE PEOPLE DEAL IN MONEY

1592
01:20:56,023 --> 01:20:57,680
TRANSFERS AND BANKER'S CHECKS.

1593
01:20:57,680 --> 01:20:58,853
YOU CAN'T JUST COME IN HERE

1594
01:20:58,853 --> 01:21:03,168
YOU CAN'T JUST COME IN HERE
AND ACT LIKE IT'S A PAWN SHOP.

1595
01:21:03,168 --> 01:21:14,904
AND ACT LIKE IT'S A PAWN SHOP.

1596
01:21:16,941 --> 01:21:17,907
>> IT'S THE REAL DEAL.

1597
01:21:17,907 --> 01:21:25,225
>>

1598
01:21:25,225 --> 01:21:26,088
>> HE BELIEVES YOU THAT

1599
01:21:26,088 --> 01:21:27,089
IT'S REAL, HE SAYS IT'S

1600
01:21:27,089 --> 01:21:28,469
OBVIOUSLY VERY EXPENSIVE.

1601
01:21:28,469 --> 01:21:30,264
>>

1602
01:21:30,264 --> 01:21:31,438
>> UH, DO YOU HAVE BUSINESS

1603
01:21:31,438 --> 01:21:32,473
CARDS?

1604
01:21:32,473 --> 01:21:33,716
>> YES, I SURE DO.

1605
01:21:33,716 --> 01:21:38,790
>> YES, I SURE DO.
I HAVE A BUNCH.

1606
01:21:38,790 --> 01:21:53,805
I HAVE A BUNCH.

1607
01:21:53,805 --> 01:21:56,912
>>

1608
01:21:56,912 --> 01:22:06,645
>> "NO NEED FOR THANKS."

1609
01:22:40,264 --> 01:22:41,163
INITIAL SALES FOR

1610
01:22:41,163 --> 01:22:44,752
THE ASS/FACE TOWEL WERE SLOW,

1611
01:22:44,752 --> 01:22:46,168
BUT WHEN MATTHEW McCONAUGHEY

1612
01:22:46,168 --> 01:22:47,410
WAS PHOTOGRAPHED USING AN

1613
01:22:47,410 --> 01:22:49,205
ASS/FACE TOWEL ON THE BEACH OF

1614
01:22:49,205 --> 01:22:52,312
MALIBU... MY SALES IMMEDIATELY

1615
01:22:52,312 --> 01:22:53,865
TRIPLED.

1616
01:22:53,865 --> 01:22:54,797
THE TOWEL THEN BECAME

1617
01:22:54,797 --> 01:22:56,350
A SIGNATURE FEATURE OF HIPSTER

1618
01:22:56,350 --> 01:22:59,077
HOTEL CHAIN BO'S CHATEAU.

1619
01:22:59,077 --> 01:23:00,734
TO DATE, OVER SIX MILLION HAVE

1620
01:23:00,734 --> 01:23:01,942
BEEN SOLD, AND IT HAS BEEN

1621
01:23:01,942 --> 01:23:02,563
TRANSLATED INTO EIGHT

1622
01:23:02,563 --> 01:23:04,600
LANGUAGES.

1623
01:23:04,600 --> 01:23:05,601
THE SUCCESS OF THE ASS/FACE

1624
01:23:05,601 --> 01:23:07,879
TOWEL FINANCED THE CREATION OF

1625
01:23:07,879 --> 01:23:14,023
JOHNSON NOVELTIES.

1626
01:23:17,993 --> 01:23:19,580
♪ WELL, THE PLANES CAME

1627
01:23:19,580 --> 01:23:20,581
WITH A DEFINITE ROAR

1628
01:23:20,581 --> 01:23:23,481
AND WE WERE ON THE RUN ♪

1629
01:23:23,481 --> 01:23:25,344
♪ EVERY MAN, WOMAN AND CHILD,

1630
01:23:25,344 --> 01:23:26,208
WELL, YOU BETTER HAVE

1631
01:23:26,208 --> 01:23:27,761
GRABBED YOUR GUN ♪

1632
01:23:27,761 --> 01:23:29,556
♪ YOU COULD RUN TILL YOU DIE,

1633
01:23:29,556 --> 01:23:30,867
LITTLE SOLDIER, DON'T MATTER

1634
01:23:30,867 --> 01:23:32,973
WHERE YOU COME FROM ♪

1635
01:23:32,973 --> 01:23:35,700
♪ DO WHAT THE GENERAL ORDERED,

1636
01:23:35,700 --> 01:23:37,909
KEEP MARCHING ON, OH ♪

1637
01:23:37,909 --> 01:23:40,325
♪ KEEP MARCHING ON-ON-ON

1638
01:23:40,325 --> 01:23:43,018
♪ KEEP MARCHING ON

1639
01:23:43,018 --> 01:23:44,778
♪ WELL, THE BULLETS FLY

1640
01:23:44,778 --> 01:23:45,882
AND I AIN'T LYIN',

1641
01:23:45,882 --> 01:23:48,402
BUT YOU KEEP MARCHING ON ♪

1642
01:23:48,402 --> 01:23:49,576
♪ YOU'RE GONNA

1643
01:23:49,576 --> 01:23:51,026
LOSE YOUR SHOES, WELL,

1644
01:23:51,026 --> 01:23:53,062
KEEP MARCHING ON ♪

1645
01:23:53,062 --> 01:23:55,168
♪ YOU GO AND KEEP ON MARCHING

1646
01:23:55,168 --> 01:23:56,376
TILL A-HALF OF YOUR HEAD

1647
01:23:56,376 --> 01:23:57,860
IS GONE ♪

1648
01:23:57,860 --> 01:24:00,344
♪ DO WHAT YOUR MAMA SAID

1649
01:24:00,344 --> 01:24:02,796
AND KEEP MARCHING ON, OH ♪

1650
01:24:02,796 --> 01:24:05,143
♪ KEEP MARCHING OH-OH-OH

1651
01:24:05,143 --> 01:24:07,456
♪ KEEP MARCHING ON

1652
01:24:07,456 --> 01:24:08,559
♪ AND I'M SINGING,

1653
01:24:08,559 --> 01:24:10,838
HEY... SISTER ♪

1654
01:24:10,838 --> 01:24:13,117
♪ HEY, SISTER♪

1655
01:24:13,117 --> 01:24:15,532
♪ HEY, BROTHER

1656
01:24:15,532 --> 01:24:17,155
>> ♪ HEY, BROTHER♪

1657
01:24:17,155 --> 01:24:19,537
>> ♪ KEEP MARCHING ON, ON

1658
01:24:19,537 --> 01:24:23,264
♪ KEEP MARCHING ON.

1659
01:25:05,478 --> 01:25:07,585
>> ♪ I WANNA RUN, RUN-RUN,

1660
01:25:07,585 --> 01:25:08,620
RUN AWAY ♪

1661
01:25:10,829 --> 01:25:12,762
♪ I WANNA RUN, RUN-RUN,

1662
01:25:12,762 --> 01:25:19,010
RUN AWAY ♪

1663
01:25:22,289 --> 01:25:24,636
♪ RUN AWAY, RUN AWAY,

1664
01:25:24,636 --> 01:25:27,156
RUN, RUN, RUN, RUN, RUN AWAY ♪

1665
01:25:32,610 --> 01:25:35,302
♪ RUN AWAY, RUN AWAY

1666
01:25:35,302 --> 01:25:43,172
♪ RUN, RUN, RUN, RUN, RUN AWAY

1667
01:25:48,143 --> 01:25:49,972
♪ I WANNA RUN, RUN, RUN,

1668
01:25:49,972 --> 01:25:51,284
RUN AWAY ♪

1669
01:25:53,665 --> 01:25:55,322
♪ I WANNA RUN, RUN, RUN,

1670
01:25:55,322 --> 01:25:59,084
RUN AWAY ♪

1671
01:26:04,642 --> 01:26:07,231
♪ RUN AWAY, RUN AWAY

1672
01:26:07,231 --> 01:26:09,923
♪ RUN, RUN, RUN, RUN, RUN AWAY

1673
01:26:15,308 --> 01:26:17,965
♪ RUN AWAY, RUN AWAY

1674
01:26:17,965 --> 01:26:21,555
RUN, RUN, RUN, RUN, RUN AWAY ♪

1675
01:26:21,555 --> 01:26:29,529
♪ HEY, HEY!

1676
01:26:29,529 --> 01:26:34,430
♪ HEY!